Sick of Being Obsessed

I am not certain if this problem stems from my BPD or just other 'issues' but I have such a problem with becoming "obsessed" and "fixated" with people. Basically the person or event consumes me. I cannot stop thinking about whatever it is. Whenever I am able to distract myself for a few seconds, I feel lost because I do not know what to focus on. Many times it is some celebrity or a person and eventually it fades but until then it is awful. I literally feel like I am drowning in whatever it is. The ramifications on my life and my mental well being is catastrophic.

Any advice on how to stop this downward spiral? While this may not be a BPD thing, I need advice on how to deal as a BPD.

I do that too this day, and I can do it over anything. Food, video games, a person, a song, a band, blah blah blah. You get the idea.

I'm really not sure how to break this cycle, as I still struggle with it very much so myself. However, I just wanted to tell you that you aren't alone, and that i do understand. I'll be benefiting from these answers too

I've been pulling myself out of it lately by making a mental gratitude list, sometimes writing it down, it brings the focus back to me and makes my thoughts more positive.

semack02 wrote:I am not certain if this problem stems from my BPD or just other 'issues' but I have such a problem with becoming "obsessed" and "fixated" with people. Basically the person or event consumes me. I cannot stop thinking about whatever it is. Whenever I am able to distract myself for a few seconds, I feel lost because I do not know what to focus on. Many times it is some celebrity or a person and eventually it fades but until then it is awful. I literally feel like I am drowning in whatever it is. The ramifications on my life and my mental well being is catastrophic.

Any advice on how to stop this downward spiral? While this may not be a BPD thing, I need advice on how to deal as a BPD.

I know this isn't of much help because i can't GIVE advice but I also wanted to respond back saying you AREN'T alone! I ruminate a ton too. I don't think mine is AS bad where if i don't think about it, i feel lost, but it is pretty bad.

its just constant thinking that if I CAN take my mind off it, its pure relief.

for me, its my boyfriend. I think about him ALL THE TIME. its sad because I'll text him and SIT there by my phone just waiting to hear back from him. and ill try to distract myself, then check the phone again to see if he responded and when he hasn't, ill check at when i sent him the text and the time it is now to see how much time has passed. usually its only like 5 to 20 mins and it feels like FOREVER!

i honest to God wish i knew a solution for both you and I! my only solution is i get obsessed/distracted by something or someone else. it never ends!

I have those people/celebrity obsessions too. I'll google them, look at pictures of them, read about any latest updates about them, but then over a few days, the obsession will fade. I have a feeling that my obsessions are due to my OCD though, not my BPD.

noreally_imfine wrote:for me, its my boyfriend. I think about him ALL THE TIME. its sad because I'll text him and SIT there by my phone just waiting to hear back from him. and ill try to distract myself, then check the phone again to see if he responded and when he hasn't, ill check at when i sent him the text and the time it is now to see how much time has passed. usually its only like 5 to 20 mins and it feels like FOREVER!

I'm not the only one?! Well that's a relief! I do that too, way more than I care to admit too.

semack02 wrote:I am not certain if this problem stems from my BPD or just other 'issues' but I have such a problem with becoming "obsessed" and "fixated" with people. Basically the person or event consumes me. I cannot stop thinking about whatever it is. Whenever I am able to distract myself for a few seconds, I feel lost because I do not know what to focus on. Many times it is some celebrity or a person and eventually it fades but until then it is awful. I literally feel like I am drowning in whatever it is. The ramifications on my life and my mental well being is catastrophic.

Any advice on how to stop this downward spiral? While this may not be a BPD thing, I need advice on how to deal as a BPD.

I have that problem, too...being obsessed with certain people (be they celebrities or regular people). I noticed that I either obsess over them because I find they have something in common with me and I don't feel so alone in my way of being anymore or because (especially for regular people) I feel understood or liked (and hence not so alone generally).
To stop that, I try to focus on an activity that I like, e.g. reading books, news, working out. It doesn't always work but sometimes it does. Sometimes I still feel that obsession lingering in the back of my head but I feel like I'm just deluding myself by giving in, as well.
Nonetheless, I still do it all the time...so it's not like it completely works but sometimes it does.

Careful if you get obsessed with others. I have been stalked by a gay nutcase that became obsessed with me because I said hello to them once. He would ring me hundreds of times per day and come over my house and knock on the door continuously for several hours in a row. There is a point where obsession can become destructive and criminal, obsession is something i look for in people as an "alarm bell" to keep away from them.

I agree Cybergenesis, but I think a lot of people understand that fine line.. I too obsess about people, still doing it with my ex at the moment.. I only do it with lovers.. Though with friends I want to hang around them all day sometimes..

cybergenesis wrote:Careful if you get obsessed with others. I have been stalked by a gay nutcase that became obsessed with me because I said hello to them once. He would ring me hundreds of times per day and come over my house and knock on the door continuously for several hours in a row. There is a point where obsession can become destructive and criminal, obsession is something i look for in people as an "alarm bell" to keep away from them.

In my case, I NEVER act on my obsessions. I have no desire to. In fact, one time I had the chance to go to a meet & greet for a singer I was obsessed with and I decided not to. If I become fixated on a person I personally know, I actually withdraw from any sort of interaction with them.

I think the difference between what you experienced (I wish you hadn't... that sounds awful) and myself is I am 100% aware of how unhealthy my obsession is. I am completely cognizant that it is going on and want it to stop. My thoughts are completely focused on whatever it is but there is no action. In fact, my of my friends don't even know about my obsessions because I would rather to keep it to myself until those feelings go away.