I can not say I did not see this coming. The church I go to is very conservative. Members at one time would only allow or prefer, the men to be in suits and the women in dresses. Now things are different, men wear jeans and women pants. Although some women wear yoga pants and leggings, or tights. Some women cover up their butts by wearing long shirts, some do not. Sometimes I find myself looking at them more than I should.
When my parents were alive I always wore dresses, but after they passed away I started to wear skinny jeans, tights, short shorts, tank tops with no bra, and lots of piercings, makeup, and other stuff. The staff at the church were always telling me this was wrong but I never listened. The followed the biblical form of discipline, first, they tried to counsel me. Then they tried having me meet with 2 or 3 elders. After a while, they made an announcement in the church that I was no longer a member but I could attend if I would tone down my clothes. But I just could not do this. I liked my clothes, I was constantly buying new clothes, hot stuff and was always visiting the store "Hot Topics."
Well, they have taken the final step. They sent an email stating I was excommunicated. That I was no longer welcomed in the church. They also instructed people from the church to shun me in the hopes this would drive me to repentance. I'm kinda in shock. Not sure what to do, besides cutting. Sadly I must say I did this last night before going to bed. I just could not calm down. It's easy to say go someplace else, but where. I was born into this church it has been a part of my life now for just over 21 years. Saying I'm heart broken just doesn't say enough.
Until you're broken, you don't know what you're made of.2 Comments Viewed 661 times
It gives you the ability to build yourself all over again,
but stronger than ever.
I know how you feel having a place in your life that you feel safe suddenly being taken from you. My mom was recently arrested and my dad has never been a part of my life. So I live with my grandparents my whole life i felt like i could trust them but recently I have been getting this feeling that my home doesn't feel like home to me anymore. But I am lucky to know I have at least two people that are still by my side.
AmandaBroken, you have a beautiful heart and soul. Try to see that truth and not the bad treatment you are receiving. Being excommunicated doesn't feel good at all, I can see how you can be in pain. But it's going to be alright. I truly believe that. Hugs if wanted.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"
Dx: Bipolar I
Wellbutrin XL 300mg
Valium p.r.n 10 mg twice a day
2 replies • Page 1 of 1
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