I'm going to post this blog with much hesitation and distrust, so don't be surprised if what I say either pisses you off, causes you to hate me, attack me, or make you think I'm self-centered, want my way, love to play victim, or want to be the center of attention (YEAH RIGHT).
I wish you normies, and some of you ADHDers and "fellow" Avoidants could walk a few miles in my shoes for once. Just for once. Just to see how oh so wrong you are about me. How you really know NOTHING about me. I am apparently so weird, so mean, and such a (blank) that even those who share in my illnesses either dislike me, want to psycho-analyze me, or think they know me based on the few things I choose to reveal or discuss.
I have already left two Avoidant forums on Facebook after being treated like (blank). For example, today I mentioned that my mother has now decided to reject me by not accepting my phone calls after trying to convince me she actually liked to talk to me, cared, and WANTED to talk to me. But ever since her new boyfriend came into her life, she's more interested in talking to him and spending time with him. WHICH IS FINE (so don't tell me I'm jealous because I'm NOT) except that he calls at least five times a day and they go out together EVERY DAY. They don't live together but act like they do. I'm glad she has a man who makes her this happy but it hurts like (blank) that she would rather spend every waking moment of her life talking to, having sex with, and spending time with her boyfriend that taking a phone call from her daughter. That she no longer wants to hear from me any more because she's filled her need for coddling with him. My mother has always been a manipulatress, and she tried to convince me that she "used to be" mean (now there's an understatement if I ever heard one) but isn't any more. WRONG. She gets upset if I call, saying her boyfriend might call and she can't talk to me.
Now, because I said all of this in a group on Facebook, was I supported? Did anyone say "that sucks that she chose him over her family"? NO. Instead I got "this is HER time, let them have their time together." My emotions, my feelings, etc. got pushed aside and I was told just to just let them enjoy each other. WHICH I ALREADY SAID I DO. Before the boyfriend came along, she would listen to my concerns, tell me she loved me, etc. Now however, she couldn't care less about me. Her boyfriend is more important that I am. Talking to her boyfriend 5 times or more every morning, noon and night is more important. Having sex with her lover as often as possible because "we're old and we try to spend as much time as we can together" is more important than her family. (IN case you're wondering where my dad is in all this, he died 3 years ago from Alzheimer's.) When I got that response, I was shocked. I thought you Avoidants and ADHDers were more sensitive to someone's feelings over being rejected than that. I guess I was wrong. Turns out you're just as vicious as the normies. Telling me to be happy for mother is fine and dandy, and as I've already said (and will say again in case you didn't get it the first time) I AM HAPPY FOR HER. Why can't you relate to my being snubbed and rejected by my mom because she's infatuated over her boyfriend and chooses HIM over her family? She wouldn't do this to my brothers, because A) they're older, B) she has always preferred my oldest brother over me and will gladly take his calls, and C) they're "busy" so their calls are more important. According to my mom, I can call her any time. NOT TRUE, MOM. Every time I try to call her, she's either on the phone with her boyfriend and refuses to take the call, out with her boyfriend, or can't talk to me because her boyfriend might call. How you AvPDers and ADHDers can tell me to just "be happy for her" and have NO regard for my hurt feelings, or even say you know how it feels, is... [ Continued ]