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Hiding in my apartment by Twentyseven on Wed Nov 23, 2011 6:16 pm
These lase few weeks (months?) have really been wearing me down, and it's not going to let up until the middle of December. I've been working on the same project for almost a year now, but earlier during the process I could do a lot more work at home. Now it feels like the project manager is hovering over my shoulder all the time and I'm forced to work in the heavily overcrowded computer lab or in the far too small and intimate project room. I'm just so tired. I want to get away from these people, but I have to keep seeing them every day (Saturday and Sunday included). I had a legitimate excuse to leave today (going to the doctor) and afterwards I just didn't go back. I couldn't make myself.
I have shut out all the social contacts I used to have; stopped emailing the mailing list I'm on, stopped going to the "pack walks" (direct translation is lovely... anyway: I really should go to that for my dog's sake), stopped going to the student movies on Sundays. It's like my social quota is already full. Actually... I don't really miss any of those things. I don't like how this project is taking control over my life though. Before I could at least choose whether to go or not. Now it feels like that is already decided for me.
It feels like all this will result in some enormous apathy as soon as I'm released from this commitment... Not good if I plan on ever getting my masters degree.
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