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Hurt and Confused by trzcnqrall on Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:50 pm
I understand that compulsive lying is a REAL problem, and I also understand the difference between a compulsive liar and someone who can control themselves. What I dont understand is why someone who knows the difference and knows that thier untrue words is tearing thier relationship apart, but yet continue to make excuses and reasons to justify thier lie and make it seem like it was right thing to do. Now, call me old fashioned, but to me lying to your significant other is never the right thing to do. Your significant other is someone that you shouldn't have to hide anything from (and yes, hiding is a form of lying), the one person is your life that you can trust with anything, the one that you should ultimatly not lie to. As we all know in a realtionship it is imparitive that we keep trust, and honesty, because without honesty there is no trust, and without trust a relationship will not work. As much as I stress this fact to my significant other, its still seeming like it goes in one ear and out the other, and brushed off like its no big deal. Im not trying to be a drama queen when I say this, but when it comes to me and my realtionship with my loved one IT IS A BIG DEAL. I've caught him up in a few lies here and there and he don't seem to understand that its going to cause a trust problem that can't just be fixed by an apology,trust must be earned, and brushing it off as nothing isn't going to fix it, in the end it just creates a bigger problem than we started with. It hurts me when he says "I'm sorry and it won't happen again" knowing that he don't mean it. To me thats just another lie, because in our situation I know it will. I love this man with everything in me, and Im at a loss as to what to do. With all this said, I know that slowly but surely with every lie discovered we are loosing the life and realtionship that both of us have worked so hard to achieve is crumbling down around us. Ive tried everything I can think of to get him to understand, but every attempt failed miserably. Like i said I'm at a loss as to what to do and in desperation I come to this website for some guideance to salvage whats left of my relationship. Every opinion and bit of advice anyone can give will be greatly appreciated.
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