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Thinking it over by brainslug on Fri Jan 04, 2013 6:40 pm
I am having a hard time coming to decision on what to do.

Despite that, I am feeling really good right now.

I don't feel like it is much of an ego-boosted good feeling, either.

I just generally feel like doing something. I want to go somewhere, do something.

I am feeling a mild sense of anxiety, but I am mostly okay.

Currently, I am wishing that the prom-girl would get on facebook. I feel like I can have a conversation now, and I am hoping that the ability doesn't go away before I have a chance to contact her. I believe that she is still sleeping, though. I could possibly text her, but that is pretty anxiety provoking since I haven't talked to her in a long time, and she probably doesn't know my number (I remember her saying something about getting a new phone on twitter).

I feel very, very 'pressured'. I feel like I HAVE TO do something RIGHT NOW.

This is, in most ways, the same as how I felt last summer when I did talk to her, but ended up acting far too avoidant. I really feel like I can do it now.

I am concerned, however, that with this resurgence and these feelings I will miss a good opportunity with the other girl, and that I should just forget about the prom-girl, but I don't know. I feel like I CAN'T. I can't find anything else to be good right now.

I am afraid that I am going to screw myself over again.

Also, I realize that there is no reason for me to believe that the prom-girl will still like me or anything, but I don't think I really understand it on a decision making level right now.

The way I am leaning towards looking at it is that this will be closure. As much I part of me would like to, I can't just move on. I need to either be devastated or thrilled.

As a side note, I almost wish that everything was back to how it was a week ago. This is the worst good feeling I have had. I would almost prefer to feel flat out bad and not have to worry about things and be so high-strung. The problem is that I absolutely cannot concentrate on anything else. Before, I was having fun playing guild wars 2, but now I can't even enjoy anything. It is just this constant apprehension. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. The worst outcome is that I go back to how I was before, but it is driving me insane. I want things to happen now. I feel like "WHY AREN'T THINGS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!". I have a faint buzzing feeling across my body.

I wish I could concentrate this energy on something useful.

I am about to just try to do something else and get my mind off it. I just don't want the 'courage' to fall with it. Then again, maybe it should. I don't believe that I am of sound mind right now. It is too confusing which mode of thought is correct.

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My girlfriend tried to kill herself..... by firefighter128 on Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:16 am
ok I need some help on how to handle this situation . my girlfriend tried to kill herself I have never been with anyone that has tried that. I know that she has severe depression, an she was taking her...

[ Continued ]

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The fire within by Johnny-Jack on Tue Sep 30, 2014 3:39 am
I wrote this three years ago and it still describes me to the core better than anything else I could otherwise put into words.

I am strong
I am a man
I protect and provide
I nurture and I love
yet I have...

[ Continued ]

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why I'm here (my story) by jaded821 on Tue Sep 30, 2014 1:31 am
I'm 23 years old and I was diagnosed with BPD about 2 years ago. But I've been struggling with it for much longer than that. Please try to avoid judging me when reading this post. I've messed up a ton...

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yeah, no by C-standard9 on Mon Sep 29, 2014 4:04 am
Im thinking this latest thing is some kind of delusion. Ive gatta start catching these things before publicly stating it.

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First post from a sufferer of BED by AnTcher98 on Sun Sep 28, 2014 7:43 pm
Well I suppose I will start of by saying good evening to you and thank you for taking the time to read this.

I can imagine myself being told off by my past English teachers on what is a rather dull opening...

[ Continued ]

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Re: A little about Henry by Johnny-Jack on Sat Sep 27, 2014 10:50 pm
In therapy when bringing up Henry there was the knowing that he was triggered forward by a dog on the wall. I don't recall there being a dog but it was kind of a trendy, funky place and there were weird...

[ Continued ]

Re: Analyzation of a failed progress of work by C-standard9 on Fri Sep 26, 2014 7:25 pm
I hope you find your way soon.

Re: Its a Bad Day by C-standard9 on Fri Sep 26, 2014 2:39 pm
I dont know, sometimes Im just in moods. I felt much better after everything.

Re: Its a Bad Day by itis on Fri Sep 26, 2014 6:23 am
What caused your waking up on the wrong side of the bed?

Re: Self Harming by misssykes on Tue Sep 23, 2014 4:44 pm
Thanks a lot! I'm new here so I don't know a lot yet, hehe..
Thanks for your advice and kindness!

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