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WTF? by asoulfragmented on Sat Oct 19, 2013 9:48 am
Mood: Exhausted
Listening to: Blake Shelton - Sure be cool if you did


It is one of those nights where I cannot get my mind to shut up. I am so sleepy but alas it manages to escape me. Racing thoughts and the like, This is my first time online today and it is 4:45 am so I guess that would technically mean that I was not online at all yesterday. I have not been able to focus enough on one thing to read a book. That is very stressful as reading is an outlet for me, I have my youtube playlist playing on shuffle so I don't even have to make a decision about a song cause right now my mind won't let me even think on it enough. I thought coming on here and writing for a bit would make me feel better or at least give me something to do but even now it is difficult to focus enough not to stray the subject. I love music there is rarely a time in my life that music is not playing. I listen to just about every genre I can think of with the exception of polka. Lately when I try to go to sleep paranoia takes over, it seems like the moment I become "still" the $#%^ hits the fan so to speak. Paranoia,agitation, conversations in my head with more than one voice. WTF? I moved across the country and have yet to see a therapist or mental health professional for that matter. I have been off meds since roughly June. I sometimes feel like I am watching my life play in front of me like a movie without the option to react. I mean my body is reacting but I am not, what the hell is that about? The other night I went to bed around 3 am to try to sleep but the moment I stopped listening to music and reading articles online and settled down in my bed with the lights off it got ugly. First the paranoia set in, it was extreme. I felt like I was screaming inside my mind but no sounds escaped me. It seemed endless then a soft little crying voice was in my head like a thought but not my thought. Then the weirdest thing happened.... I got this mental image of a little girl crying holding a teddy bear curled up in a corner. I don't know how I knew but the little girls name is Sophia and she is 6. I have never seen this little girl before so how would I know her in my mind? Let me say this, My name is not Sophia and I have never personally met anyone by that name. After the image of the little girl left the "screaming" in my head started back up. I don't know.... I am lost and not sure what is going on. After that night I called and made an appointment with a dr in the new town I am in. I am nervous about going to a new dr, I do not trust easily and I don't know if I can open up to them. :?

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If everyone were an introvert... by 2109 on Wed Feb 22, 2017 5:25 pm
...life would be a lot easier :!:

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The present! by OMNICELL on Wed Feb 22, 2017 4:31 am
The goal is happiness! In the present; Im learning to align with source energy! God! Ive attempted to attract people or places or things! Im now aligning with God! God has my blue print and the energy...

[ Continued ]

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The hard part.. by rybo510 on Wed Feb 22, 2017 1:41 am
There is something stuck in my head. The only way to reveile it is to write. "I should be happy and grateful". I am grateful for what I have. I just miss my mind. Day to day I am trying to figure...

[ Continued ]

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Trying to Beat HOCD. by makaylalong34 on Tue Feb 21, 2017 9:43 pm
This is my first post, and I don't know if anyone will read this, but in many ways, I feel better if I just write it out.

My battle with HOCD has just begun, I am afraid this much is true. It has been...

[ Continued ]

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i see a light by wasp_rainbowarrior on Tue Feb 21, 2017 4:33 pm
i'm once again shifting in my interests. today i began feeling better about life and wanting to make music. i am hopeful. when i open the hookup app i have a profile in i feel sick. that's how i was some...

[ Continued ]

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Re: 2017: The Last Chance for Therapy by HarleyMonroe on Tue Feb 21, 2017 5:20 am
I hope therapy is going well. It is so frustrating being misdiagnosed so I am really sorry to hear about that run around. I have also been put on a lot of drugs, and dealt with misdiagnosing and under-diagnosing....

[ Continued ]

Re: i don't know the subject this time by wasp_rainbowarrior on Sat Feb 18, 2017 3:07 pm
i haven't felt that bad since yesterday but i haven't felt anything else either. whenever i stop and pay attention to how i'm feeling i get this tight chest feeling and my heart beats faster, like some...

[ Continued ]

Re: Fell off the DVD waggon... by lonelydaydream on Sat Feb 18, 2017 12:31 pm
[quote="Snaga"]Considering you're already past the mean survival for the worse kind, and the other is much more common, correct? Prayers and fingers crossed...

I don't think it's odd at all...

[ Continued ]

Re: Howdy y'all by Snaga on Sat Feb 18, 2017 2:32 am
Howdy back and welcome to being an active member of PF

Re: i don't know the subject this time by Snaga on Sat Feb 18, 2017 2:28 am
Hugs!

I know, in my worse moments, I feel as if my hold on reality slips. And it sounds almost as if you're disassociating a bit. Been there done that, also.

I don't know how it works for you, but it...

[ Continued ]

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