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Stress on Top of Stress by MelancholyBliss on Tue May 13, 2014 6:13 pm
Just when I thought my biggest worry was my son, I get laid off again. Really, they call it reduction in force. Good news is I get seniority at another position. For the past year, I stressed about social interactions with my coworkers, so I really had planned to transfer anyway. On top of this big change, I visited son's school, and I am disappointed that son refused to participate in Field day. He is so good at this event, yet he is anxious and self-conscious like me. My brothers were also so shy and socially awkward. I am learning, but it is so emotionally difficult to pass off as happy when I am clouded with a jumble of thoughts. I try to blow them away and think how wonderful my life appears on the outside. I also have a guilty crush on a man who is not my husband. I had these feelings before. I know they are not mutual, so I ought to be safe from getting caught, but I still obsess and fantasize about a possibility that I can get along with a different partner. I love my sons so much, just the thought of a wrong step in adultery makes my whole world feel chaotic. In a few weeks he will be out of my life. I am happy and sad about it. I like a fantasy to get me to wake up every day. I move through a mindless maze of strangers. I never feel I belong anywhere. i take classes and people try to talk and I finally have the courage to carry a chit chat type of conversation. I secretly think they will uncover my dark secrets. I am really a very melancholy mom with a lot of guilt and negative feelings. I don't want to change into a different person with anti-depressants. I like being consumed in my thoughts. I thrive from solitude. I just have to learn have to include my sons in my quirky persona.

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Another Mon 12.10.15 correction by jacknn on Tue Oct 13, 2015 1:24 am
Also had 50g salmon during first, OK part of meal.

Feel like should check myself into nearest mental ward.

Feel need to hide and pray.

0 Comments Viewed 11 times
correction of Mon 12.10.15 by jacknn on Tue Oct 13, 2015 1:17 am
Also had goat cheese, standing.
Whole thing took place away from table and while surfing.

Clearly, feel very low about self, and self-destructive.
Putting words on it, all these supposedly sophisticated...

[ Continued ]

1 Comment Viewed 20 times
I need to rant. by Lacie on Tue Oct 13, 2015 1:15 am
Today was terrible. The stress is getting to me. Now someone I don't recognize is out, my ill mother thinks I'm a piece of selfish dung with no idea how to take care of myself (thanks guys), my younger...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 10 times
Mon 12.10.15 by jacknn on Tue Oct 13, 2015 1:06 am
Mon 12.10.15
Slept - Woke up 4, prbbly fell asleep 9:30, so 6.5h
Feel very refreshed. What joy.
Hope CAF-stretch
Expct Brkfst - 2 SSUp eggs, butter, avocado, raw, 2 slices
Very good.
Stopped OK. OK...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 11 times
sad by peaklite on Mon Oct 12, 2015 10:40 pm
just feel sad over relationship
like nothing in general just everything makes me sad sometimes i think on things she's said and i feel sad

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Re: correction of Mon 12.10.15 by snaga2.0 on Tue Oct 13, 2015 5:18 am

Re: Age groups of alters by Johnny-Jack on Tue Oct 13, 2015 3:08 am
As of 13 OCT 2015:
6 Babies/Toddlers, to age 2
18 Littles, age 3-7
9 middles, age 8-12
5 teens, age 13-19
8 adults, age 20 up
1 ageless
1 age slider

Re: *TW non-con sex stuff* Alex: ruined our engagement by snaga2.0 on Mon Oct 12, 2015 10:15 pm
Sure that isn't just the anxiety talking sweetie?

Re: shame by snaga2.0 on Mon Oct 12, 2015 10:10 pm

Re: verbal vomit by snaga2.0 on Mon Oct 12, 2015 9:56 pm
Omg a That 70's Show virgin! :twisted:

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