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it is in there by specialK on Wed Nov 20, 2013 6:11 pm
he claims it does not exsist within in yet Ive witnessed him giving what he says he does not have within him to give-to others. he feels-he just aint feeling me.
Seeing the disappointment in his being when his father paid him for the books he sent- that shows he has gift giving and sentiment in there-after all I read a lot of it towards kay-he gave it away
not to me
xanax- hives-stop my anxiety before I look like I have chicken pocks. I am realizing I do not matter
I cannot hide from the facts. I put myself out constantly waiting for love
I sent emails to him again and my feelings- took a week for him to open and respond. the response had nothing to do with the present. he is capable of being present at work but not in life. and i thought I had problems. Clearly things are coming up that make that" FIGURE OUT WHAT YOUR DOING BY THE END OF WINTER" more of a life question not just a moving furniture issue. No explanation or details of WHAT I am supposed to figure out what I am supposed to figure out. perhaps it is the ultimate question-which needs an answer-oddly on my birthday-the last day of winter.
I do not think he understands how vague and demanding he is-and do not question or anger will respond.
You would think the way I process emotional issues would have rubbed off in 10 years but I guess not.
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