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Moving forward by OMNICELL on Mon Feb 18, 2013 1:28 pm
I talk allot about relationships. Relationships and work are destroyed through Chronic CPTSD And Dissociative disorder..

SO, I talk about relationships and hobbies; those are the things most effected...

Im getting very close to asking out several girls for dates. Ive worked on my social skills and attractions skills to the point that I can attract and approach.. I have interested parties.. However, Im wondering how I look and far in the real world. Most of the girls I know are from 12 step groups.. Im not in the real world.

One girl I have to let go of. Time and God are heading me in the right direction. She had no conscious. Its impossible! One has to let such people go regardless of the fantasy attached to them. I mean nothing to her at this point. I am a complete stranger!

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Im not used to girls.. I will have a very fun time getting used to them, I cant wait..

Im not sure what good looking means anymore. Im attracted to girls that I like, but they are not the worlds greatest standard and I don't seem to care, I think they are beautiful... Im not sure I understand.

Should I go out the the best looking girls I can find... Hmmm...., Or, those that Im attracted to...

Im still day dreaming...

Im finally cleaning up my apartment... it was so bad that it was effecting my clothing, and I got complaints.. This is part of the dissociative world that Im slowly coming out of. Im stripping the apartment of everything.. Getting it back into working order.. Ive thrown out almost all my clothing. Im getting rid of the bed, in place of something much smaller and workable. If Im going to have women over, it must be a clean place.

Im praying all the time. I need a greater relationship with God.

My art life is dead. The PTSD and messed relationship stuff has ruined it. My nervous system is to taken over and has no room for anything other then the trauma its dealing with. I hope levels go down that I can start the music stuff again. The girl thing gets in the way. I fall in love then I have to deal with the rejection; This eats up everything..

hopefully things will pass.

I have allot of grieving to do...

Still have a problem buying things to avoid my pain; Im hoping a new thing will kill the pain from bad relationships..

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Failed work by Bewitched65 on Mon Aug 29, 2016 3:58 pm
I was thinking about the case management job I quit after two weeks.

If the environment had been different I could have stayed. Several things did not go as I envisioned them. Ok- I went through one...

[ Continued ]

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Now what to do! by OMNICELL on Sun Aug 28, 2016 5:55 am
Im moving away from women; talking about dating them! theirs still a few things left to talk about!
Most of what I have to talk about concerns interests!

Im an artist; it means, its my calling!...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 38 times
Dating 2 by OMNICELL on Sat Aug 27, 2016 3:05 pm
I could or should write the rest of the blogs about women! Why? I didn't realize; I have no development with women! no wonder their have been such problems!

I had no mother; the monster playing...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 39 times
Free Rent -where to find it? by Bewitched65 on Fri Aug 26, 2016 3:19 pm
Today I said goodbye to my husband this morning as usual.

Yesterday I had sent him a job opening for his company in Colorado.... It looks like a nice place where we can afford to buy a home instead of...

[ Continued ]

2 Comments Viewed 82 times
Hocd or denial by Hocdeath on Fri Aug 26, 2016 8:35 am
Hi (WARNING. My language is not great because im from sweden)

What is the difference between hocd or being gay?
I think I have hocd but last night I red the differences about hocd fears and being gay...

[ Continued ]

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Re: Free Rent -where to find it? by Bewitched65 on Mon Aug 29, 2016 3:25 pm
I didn't know how much I loved a home and yard until I went back to apartment life. When we moved in here, sitting in the rental office, an elderly gentlemen was moving out...He said "oh you speak...

[ Continued ]

Re: Childhood dysfunction and mental illness by yesosiro on Sat Aug 27, 2016 8:22 pm
Thank you so much Snaga, I really appreciate the clarification. I'll keep that in mind!

Re: Free Rent -where to find it? by Snaga on Sat Aug 27, 2016 12:07 pm
Wow... you must really hate where you're at..... hugs!

Re: Childhood dysfunction and mental illness by Snaga on Sat Aug 27, 2016 11:49 am
No, it's the blogs- the posting format is okay, as long as the forum rules are followed, you can ramble as you please in blog.

Do not feel hurt if you don't get replies, however... I find that replies...

[ Continued ]

Re: Hocd or denial by Hocdeath on Fri Aug 26, 2016 8:39 am
And could you tell me that is this fear normal?

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