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old blogs by lostinsarahtopia on Mon Aug 22, 2011 3:17 am
Nov 28, 2008
bad drugs with good memories

Current mood:ashamed
so everybody knows im always messed up. what started out as wanting to look cool turned into an addiction. its a love hate relationship. i dont smoke cigarrettes cause i think their cool, in fact i think your a dumbass if you start smoking. i get out of breath to easily and im always coughing and it still burns my throat after all these years but i cant seem to live without them. i used to smoke pot cause i thought it was cool, but now im back into the old times, smoking it every day, im not for sure if ive been sober that much lately. i tend to depend on it to distract myself from the worries of everyday life. i used to love drinking my problems away but if you put a bottle of alcohol in front of me ill never let it go until its gone or until i pass out. i loved acid. i stole to make sure i was able to tripp everyday. it too started out wanting to look cool and i turned it into an addiction. i always thought i was strong but im obviously weak willed. i tend to do this alot......its another one of my oh so familiar cycles. ill tell myself i hate drugs so i quit for a little while until they are put in front of me again and the addiction starts up again. im a hypocrite, i tell people to stay away from drugs and i still do them. and knowing my weak self ill still be doing them years down the road. maybe one day ill have the strength. but thats an addict for you ill keep telling everyone that ill quit one day and that one day never comes or if it does then itll come to late. one day i would like to prove everyone wrong and actually do something right for once. finish college, get my degree, become a psychologist, maybe settle down and have children. but i just cant stay in one place to long. if only if only the woodpecker cried........

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hatred for women by OMNICELL on Mon May 02, 2016 6:23 pm
Hatred hatred hatred; stuck up bitches! All of them! Stuck up opportunists at my expense! So, I find them attractive and they use that against me and try to manipulate me in to spit in my face! ...

[ Continued ]

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Revenge and other things! by OMNICELL on Mon May 02, 2016 1:09 pm
I first get my life together, then; if think about revenge! I can ponder such illusions!

Its very easy; I get robbed or hurt or taken advantage of; I assume if I get back what the robber stole,...

[ Continued ]

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feels good man by peaklite on Sun May 01, 2016 8:33 pm
feels good being able to get stuff done in the day time and not fall asleep

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Finally, something I can go off of. Thank you guys. by nosynuisance on Sun May 01, 2016 4:43 am
I don't know how well I'll remember this because of the dissociation always being here but for now on I'm using what they said to me to fight the intrusive obsessions about faking everything and them "not...

[ Continued ]

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I just exist. by bonxlxsschickxn on Sun May 01, 2016 12:12 am
I wasn't asked to be brought into this world and now I just float aimlessly.

I've always been.. the odd man out. Detached and interested in what most others are not. I can recall isolating myself during...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 38 times
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Re: Desire to abuse cat????? by Snaga on Mon May 02, 2016 1:25 am
Hello and welcome....

Usually blog entries can be expected to not get much response, you may find more feedback posting in open forum. Maybe Anger Management.

I have OCD. One major theme for me is harm...

[ Continued ]

Re: Where we've been by Jessie on Fri Apr 29, 2016 12:43 am
I know I don't know you, but thank you for sharing. I am kind of in the same position about to be homeless BUT I would love to get back in school and complete a year! It's great that some things are slowly...

[ Continued ]

Re: New by Jessie on Thu Apr 28, 2016 10:44 pm
Thank you so much for the welcome!! The welcome has been the best thing that has happened to me this year!

Re: New by Snaga on Wed Apr 27, 2016 3:11 am
Plenty of company here sweets, webzine to PF!

Re: hey by Snaga on Tue Apr 26, 2016 5:45 am
Welcome to PF!

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