Random Blog Entry
hard few days
on Wed Nov 28, 2012 2:08 am
Its been a hard few days for me.
I have been suicidal and feeling like I was a bad person. Unworthy of anyones love and attention. A manipulative bitch by nature who can never change. The exact problem with this earth. I wanted to die, not for myself but for everyone else. I was so sorry. Sorry for being alive, Sorry for those who love me, for those i have loved, sorry for everyone who ever came into my life. as the ultimate apology i was thinking killing myself.. for everyones good.
I of course later realize how badly everyone would had been effected but then i think.... what about Me what about MY fairness. I am suffering, maybe i will die and find some place i will belong. or atleast if i am dead i will no longer be in this mental anguish that destroys me and everyone around me that cannot be helped.
I scream cries that go unheard
reach out to hands that arent there
if i wouldnt isolate myself it wouldnt be farther from the truth.
on Wed Jul 01, 2015 2:18 pm
Just trying the platform here (if allowed).
To not leave it too blank... well, I can say, that I don't feel really good. I'm under a heavy academical problem at University, and my stress is just eating... [ Continued ]
on Wed Jul 01, 2015 2:10 pm
So, little things have almost scuppered me, things with no need to hide anything about. Last week a letter arrived reminding me I had to book a dental check up. My wife got in from work after me and asked... [ Continued ]
on Tue Jun 30, 2015 11:15 pm
I looked up from Sensei Li's class and checked my cell phone; it was 4:12pm. I thought time was dragging during school today but it had nothing on how slow time was dragging by waiting on my mom to show ... [ Continued ]
Another Day and all is well
on Tue Jun 30, 2015 11:26 am
Wow. I seem to be having several relatively delusional reduced days in a row - at work anyways. I went out yesterday after work to a local pub for a burger/beer/conversation and didn't have any delusions... [ Continued ]
Re: ants.. uggh.
on Wed Jul 01, 2015 9:49 am
But they were newborns and I disturbed the nest, was in a tool chest. I drowned them in a drainage ditch. They couldn't stay and they would have been abandoned most likely anyway. They're vermin but I... [ Continued ]
on Mon Jun 29, 2015 10:19 am
No worries at all, odd mistakes happen with posts quite a lot when you're not used to posting on forums.. I was always getting the quotes messed up when i first started.
I see you've... [ Continued ]
Re: ants.. uggh.
on Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:37 pm
I just wish I could get rid of them humanely really.. you think they'd run after a pot of jam (jelly for the US crowd) if i threw it outside?
Meh.. I'm actually thinking of getting the door replaced... [ Continued ]
Re: ants.. uggh.
on Fri Jun 26, 2015 8:27 pm
Ants. Well your guilt is commendable. I have no qualms over insects. I did have to dispatch some infant rodents not long back. Did not enjoy it.
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