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Body dysmorphia. Roleplaying teenager. by margharris on Sat Mar 14, 2015 10:52 pm
I think my son is stuck in a teenage mindset. Perhaps with such an illness like BDD or OCD, there is a desire for the safety and security found in the teenage years. As a teenager, life was scheduled and mostly trouble free. You weren't worrying about finances, chores and what you needed to buy for the cupboard. You didnt think work was a sentence and recreation another chore. Personal relationships werent filed by the court system.
So when mental illness does descend it is only a normal response to retreat back to a teenager's life. A life when anticipation of the awaiting adult adventure was how we reasoned the future would be for us.

So if we enter adult life still as a teenager, we might set our amygdala to react like a teenager too.
What if the brain never receives an upgrade? 14 years later, we are still responding to some comment made about our looks that we didn't like at 13 to 19 years old.
All it takes is for our amygdala to form a template for how we should react with alarm to this comment about looks. Then anything that reminds the brain of this looks comment triggers the amygdala hijack and off we go to panic.

When in BDD, your mind's template hasnt changed to adopt more age specific software.
This leaves you craving a 19 year old look. With your mind hijacked by this teenager you still focus attention on what you look like and not what you do.

This teenager only exists in you because the adult hasn't taken charge and found that assertive adult voice that stops impulsiveness and stops abuse. Are you the people pleasing type? Wanting to be liked so you don't want to offend anyone? Do you want to own yourself? Or is the neediness to be loved so strong that almost anyone who says they love you will be OK, regardless of how hurt you are and how badly you get treated?

It is sometimes easier to find fault in yourself than look at the bigger picture and find fault in the bit of the world you have made home. It is harder to recognize the fault in the people we chose to be with. It is harder still to do something about it. So self sabotage is a much easier option.

In a way, your own body is the most precious home you will ever live in. It is a legacy bestowed on you by ancestors. It has the job of taking you on this journey called life. But how easy is it to find fault within. It can become a magnificent distraction from the main game when we become obsessed.
So BDD has a dual purpose. It traps us in a role for our impulsive teenager and it stops our adult firing up to allow us to overcome fear. That is just my negative spin really. The positives are that the adult doesn't have to turn up for work and never speaks up to defend their own abuse. Symbolically, you become stuck as a teenager with body concerns and so avoid facing adult concerns. I suppose that makes BDD, a maladaptive displacement of fear.

The goal for the adult in you, is to accept your own adult body. Surrender the teenager's impulsiveness to the adult's will and higher awareness. The adult wants and needs to be the master. You are then free from obsession and compulsion to fill your life with what you can do to make today better. The adult role. Marg

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SO Part III by tmc115 on Tue Aug 22, 2017 9:56 pm
*May contain mature content*

The emotional fallout was real. I can’t figure out if it was something that would have always been there, or was it something that I brought upon myself.

I learned quickly t...

[ Continued ]

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Expounding on Part II by tmc115 on Tue Aug 22, 2017 9:17 pm
*May contain explicit content also included in Part II mod may edit*

I agreed to a three-way because I was intrigued by the idea. I wondered what it would be like. I also wondered why SO was so into it....

[ Continued ]

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Sex and general relationships with women by OMNICELL on Tue Aug 22, 2017 9:51 am
Things are getting better! Things have unfolded; unfolded pathways from source energy are creating new venues of transformation.
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Im interacting with women again; they want to be friends with me;...

[ Continued ]

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Keep strong! Fight hurges! by lookforward on Tue Aug 22, 2017 9:45 am
Hello all

I've decided to start writing in this blog, instead of keep posting threads. I've been here only recently, but so far I'm keeping myself GF.

In fact it has been only 8 days since I've registered...

[ Continued ]

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SO part II by tmc115 on Mon Aug 21, 2017 9:47 pm
Part II

We made his tiny cabin our love nest. Spending more time together. I remember standing on his narrow stairs drinking wine and watching a lightning storm.

Even though I enjoyed myself with him...

[ Continued ]

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Re: SO Part III by JumpingHoops on Wed Aug 23, 2017 3:18 pm
It sounds like you are getting clarity about your life, by writing about it here. That you've been puzzled to no end about people around you, how they behave, and what it means, and whether they like you...

[ Continued ]

RE: Summary of who we are by Johnny-Jack on Sun Aug 20, 2017 1:58 am
Bartholomew Oobleck 4, #58. Likes Dr. Seuss books, no surprise as he took his name from one. We've felt a connection to the name for a few years and when we got the second name about a month ago, we researched...

[ Continued ]

Re: Honesty is Not Such a Nice Friend by Snaga on Fri Aug 18, 2017 5:56 pm
And yet you converse so well, here... not the same thing I know- I find this a lot easier and I suspect most people do- but still... if only there were a way of taking this and applying it to the verbal...

[ Continued ]

Re: Pets by tmc115 on Wed Aug 16, 2017 8:36 pm
Yeah that's what she called them. Some 'How to Discipline Your Child' for new parents sort of thing. They taught her to do time-outs. I remember time-outs. I never had a problem doing them. I have no memories...

[ Continued ]

Re: Yahoo by MotherHorseEyes on Wed Aug 16, 2017 10:05 am
I forgot I wrote this I must've been having a bad time. I made some typos that completely changes the context of a couple sentences.

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