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The real my story pt 2 *tw* by LadyWolf on Fri Jan 17, 2014 2:56 am
My husband and I did back to back deployments during our first year of marriage. He deployed for 7 months, and then I did 8 months. We missed each other by 2 weeks. By the time I was coming home he was receiving a medical discharge for retinitis pigmentosa. I came home and immediately got a full time job with General Dynamics. It was a good job I made $19 an hour plus more with travel pay. I quite after 5 months. I felt like I wasn't performing as good as I should have been. I didn't like traveling alone and being away from him.

After that we moved to Louisiana to be with his family. He started abusing alcohol, xanax, painkillers, cocaine, ecstasy, possibly other drugs. I didn't understand why he was this way. He became mean, belligerent, and occasionally abusive. I was choked once for taking away a bottle of vodka. It got so bad that during an argument I had a complete break down. Like a panic attack and a sudden need to escape. To end the pain. I grabbed a bottle of wine, xanax, Tylenol, sleeping pills, cough syrup, anything else that was available and overdosed. Nick didn't take me to the hospital. He tried to induce vomiting and took care of me at home. Meanwhile he continued to drink. I don't remember much. I remember being put in the shower and later waking up on the bathroom floor with a toilet wand tangled in my hair. He told me that I had also tried to cut my throat with a broken glass.

I took four days to recover. I was still weak but we. Decided I needed help. I went to the VA and told them what I had done. Immediately they called security and took me via ambulance to the hospital. After I was cleared I was driven two hours away to another VA hospital and locked up in a psych ward for three days. It was traumatic. I was scared and felt like a lost child. I had everything including my clothes taken away from me. The first night they had a nurse standing watch in case I tried to hurt myself. I was the only female there. The rest of the patients were these old black Vietnam vets. I didn't talk to any of them because I thought they were Crazy. Eventually one of em broke the ice and I got a little more comfortable. Nick didn't call, or visit. When I was released he couldn't come get me cause he was drunk. The VA shuttled me home. I got home and he was extremely drunk and messed up. I was so messed up I cried and screamed and yelled at him. Then I hid in the bedroom. This was my first suicide attempt.

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Finding/ losing by Cadence-sings-cats on Sun May 29, 2016 8:26 am
I lose time/I find candy
I lose texts/I find writing
I lose thoughts/I find foreign thoughts
I lose me/I find her
I lose skills/I find skills I never had:
Or did we?

0 Comments Viewed 33 times
Art and women by OMNICELL on Sat May 28, 2016 12:11 am
Im getting old! Im 54 years old! Women still like me! I still attract some women! But it's getting ridiculous!

I have no money, no status! Im a none function, none creating artist with no studio!...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 68 times
Medicine seems to be helping by quietgirl2538 on Fri May 27, 2016 6:42 pm
Today I feel so light weight in mood. I feel so good and happy. I have slowly become more productive. My mood is so good I can't explain. I believe I was having mood swings and now I've taken my problems...

[ Continued ]

2 Comments Viewed 170 times
Keep moving forward by OMNICELL on Fri May 27, 2016 4:57 pm
I deal with allot of weirdo's in meetings at times! I must remember! They look at me the same way! Im trying to get better, they think they are better then me! Im in rooms of sick people! Why God...

[ Continued ]

0 Comments Viewed 139 times
help me? by xzglr on Fri May 27, 2016 3:17 pm
Hello everyone!
Some bad things happened in my life lately, and i really don't know what to do anymore. And i can't tell anyone and i really need help... Please help me.
I'm a 16 year old girl. I have...

[ Continued ]

1 Comment Viewed 131 times
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Re: it by jody on Sat May 28, 2016 5:31 pm
thanks i need hugs. got re tagged electronically to help keep me out of trouble. feels like a step forward

Re: Medicine seems to be helping by quietgirl2538 on Fri May 27, 2016 10:36 pm
Thank you Snaga. :)

Re: Medicine seems to be helping by Snaga on Fri May 27, 2016 6:58 pm

Re: help me? by Snaga on Fri May 27, 2016 6:57 pm
This isn't the proper place to ask for advice, you should think about posting in forum:

Please post in there, and you'll get folks to respond to you much more...

[ Continued ]

Re: Dealing with HOCD ... HELP by Snaga on Fri May 27, 2016 6:51 pm
Please consider posting in forum, rather than in the blogs, with a problem. The blogs isn't the proper venue to field questions, it's more of our online diary.

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