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9-28 by ejensen1324 on Wed Sep 28, 2011 5:57 am
Today I had one of my "good days" . Wanting to get better, making an effort to actually fight what my head says and do what I know I need to do, etc. I sat down and forced myself to try and eat a turkey sandwich for over 1/2 hour and I ate....maybe...3/4 of it? more than half, which is my usual stopping point. But I felt so sick and whatever that I couldn't do it any more and had to force myself not to go purge it all out of my system. Still, I was proud for sticking with it longer than I wanted to.
I also packed a "filling" meal (aka shrimp fettuccine pasta stuff and asparagus) for my break at work today. That was a very good step (even though I didn't finish it all. Still a very very good step, since the past..5 days or so I have only brought...crackers and a sandwich?).
I did chew gum twice today-- gum for me is the only way I can deal with it all. I figure, it's better than smoking, gives me a way to control how twichy and jittery I get when I'm around food, etc. The only problem is that I can also use it as a way to curb my appetite, which is not good. So that's why I keep track of how much I chew, just in case I start noticing a pattern and it gets out of control.
Over all, I'm very proud of myself today.
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