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My Story Part 1 by diamond11 on Mon Sep 03, 2012 1:07 pm
It all started when I was just a little girl. I remember going to the beach with my two best friends and their family. I wandered innocently in the sand in my one piece bathing suit when I accidentally overhead the adults talking.
"She's actually quite chubby' remarked my best friend's mum.
Those four words would ring in my ears for years. Even now I remember that very scene which started my obsession with food, weight and body image.
After that day I became extremely self conscious, I constantly compared my body to the other girls. I couldn't help but think I needed to lose weight. I was only in grade four, perhaps even younger. I started to starve myself and as one would expect, I lost weight, but to me, it wasn't good enough. I wanted to be as thin as my bestfriend. I remember my parents, my aunty and my bestfriend's mum telling me I was too thin and asking if I had anorexia. I was in denial.
My parents forced me to eat more food, and eventually, I did. I gained back a bit of weight and reached a healthy weight. This made me want to starve myself again.
High school rolled around. I remember fluctuating around 49kilos and one I hit 50-51kilos, I started actually starving myself. I remember eating very little breakfast, only drinking water at school, watching every morsel I ate if at all and stressing out when people offered me food. I swoon started binging after school. We had a tube of biscuits and cookies and I would devour that box as soon as I came home from school. I then felt guilty and occasionally skipped dinner and the cycle would continue the next day.
As time wore on, I stopped skipping dinner and just stuffed myself. I gained weight and felt horrible but the binging got worse.
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