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((((Trigger Warning!!!)))) by shannabeannn on Fri Mar 02, 2012 2:15 am
People are always bothering me to quit smoking, but I can't until I want to. It's the only way to keep things from getting out of hand. I smoke to relax myself, so I don't have panic attacks or when I'm angry or sad so I don't do things I know I'd regret. It also seems to settle my stomach after I eat (I have stomach aches from being bulimic when I was younger.) And the truth is, I love to smoke. It's stupid that smoking does so much for me and that I have such a huge attachment to it, but I do. I've been smoking since I was 13. I've had problems with food since the middle of the year when I was 12. I'd also hurt myself. Since I started smoking I'd feel the need to harm myself in anyway less and less until I stopped when I was 16.
Around the age of 7 I was molested by a much older friend of mine who used to babysit me. I was unaware that it was wrong at the time, and allowed it to happen. She'd read me pornographic versions of disney stories (Most often it was The Little Mermaid) and we'd watch the sex scenes in any movie she could find. She'd play barbie with me and would make them do sexual things and then we'd go outside in her back yard and she'd touch me or rub up against me. She told me if I loved her like a best friend I would do those things with her. I think that may be the reason I associate my friendships with sexual feelings sometimes (I've had feelings for all of my best friends.) I completely blocked it out until I turn 12 and I started to go down from there.
A short while after I was molested my uncle had tried to get me to touch him. Luckily I knew that it was wrong and I kicked him and ran away.
I have never told my mom about my abuse, and I probably never will because knowing it would kill her because of her past abuse.
I have never felt right about being myself since then.

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Argument at work by Blogjects on Fri Jul 29, 2016 4:43 am
I feel rather exposed arguing with the rest of the professional staff about the causes of mental illness & health. The way I see it there is a strong correlation between mental illness & trauma....

[ Continued ]

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Bulimia/Insomnia/Depression by tulipsunder on Thu Jul 28, 2016 3:18 pm
Tomorrow, I will start trying, this time it will stick, I promise this time I won't binge or purge. I will keep everything down. I will drink teas and eat healthy. I won't binge or purge.

I will sleep...

[ Continued ]

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Personality test results by Bewitched65 on Wed Jul 27, 2016 3:25 pm
Personality Style Test
Your personality style is:
Your test scores suggest that your personality style entails: A defect in your ability to form social relationships and an under-responsiveness...

[ Continued ]

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Is this normal or Okay by meandmomandbrother on Wed Jul 27, 2016 7:27 am
I have remarried and live with my new wife (42yrs) her mother (61yrs) and step father (76yrs) and her two young children, boy aged 9 and daughter aged 7. I am 38 years old. I come from a conservative background...

[ Continued ]

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July 27, 2016: Current Status by Allyson on Wed Jul 27, 2016 5:33 am
Last night was bad. By the grace of God, my headphones kept the blade out of my hands. There was anger, and hurt, and confusion, and sadness all wrapped up in one night and it sucked. Sleep rejuvenates...

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Re: Am i gay ? Or is this denial please help ! by Snaga on Fri Jul 29, 2016 2:09 pm
Start a new topic in

RE: Nirvana? by Bewitched65 on Wed Jul 27, 2016 3:40 pm
[quote="flukeekulf"]I've been living in a state of pure consciousness my whole life. The only emotions I truly feel are loneliness and and happiness but 99% of the time I don't feel, think or...

[ Continued ]

Re: Is my Ex a Narc? by Snaga on Tue Jul 26, 2016 9:02 pm
Please consider posting in Significant Others, Friends and Family if you have questions, sweets!

Re: I need help defeating hocd or im in bi denial? by Snaga on Tue Jul 26, 2016 9:02 pm
Please consider posting in forum, to get folks to respond to you, sweets.

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