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I don't know if i am being verbally/mentally abused by christina214 on Wed Nov 23, 2011 10:10 am
i feel like i need to tell my whole life story so that you can better understand and help me understand if i have been and still am being verbally/mentally abused... I'll try to make it not too long.
My name is Christina i am 21 years old right now and lets see growing up my mom worked multiple jobs to keep a roof over our head , while my father did drugs, cheated on her , and was in and out of our lives consistently. My father somehow convinced my mother to move to the bitch's (excuse my language) house that he was cheating on her with. I was maybe 5 or 6 when we moved, I was sexually molested by her older son who was 9 years older than me, i knew this when i got older and i figured its to late to tell anyone so i just kept it in.
My aunt is like my second mom, when i was growing up she was ALWAYS there for me, she played with me, cared for me, loved me but some how everything started to change.. i felt like our relationship became like a toxic war and i was her target. She would pin point the littlest things out to just lecture me and break me down. i was a child and it would feel like she would take pleasure in watching the fear in my eyes and the tears rolling down my face. I felt like i was nothing.
I was 11 the first time i tried to kill myself. It was fourth of July and all the kids (cousins) were at her house, i remember it so clearly as if it was yesterday. she was fine having fun, laughing with us , playing with us and i don't know what happened but something just triggered her and she just started "lecturing" (as she puts it) me and she wouldn't stop not until i literally made myself cry so hard that i had to vomit. Even after puking i was still getting bitched at "you're good for nothing, i cant stand you and what stress you put me under" . So after she stopped she went to her room and went to sleep like a little baby while i was sitting in a corner contemplating whether i should just save myself now from this monster. so i went inside and took whatever pills i could and i grabbed a knife and started cutting myself; OUTSIDE because i didn't want to make a mess.
I honestly have grown to resent her but i am so close to my family that i cant see myself cutting ties. I know this isn't a healthy relationship i have with her and i know she isn't a bad person, because shes not like this with anyone else...just me. she makes me feel worthless. we live in the same house and we barely speak two words to each other, i can feel the resentment she has towards me.
I am a very strong individual and i speak my mind i don't let anyone take advantage of me or my loved ones but when it comes to my aunt i feel like she has complete power over me . i want to confront her and tell her she fxkin crazy && needs help but i know she will only turn it around to be put on me and i honestly don't have the emotional strength to deal with her. From the age of 9 until today i have been dealing with manipulating abusive ways and i seriously don't know how to handle it.

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I have a gambling addiction, need advice by neo1232k6 on Sun Aug 13, 2017 2:54 am
Hi everyone

This is my first ever post. Today i have finally accepted that i am a gambling addict and need to stop. I dont have any friends to talk too nor will i speak to my family regarding the issue,...

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Anxiety is destroying me by nineinchpails on Sat Aug 12, 2017 5:38 am
For as long as I can remember, (ever since I was little) I have had severe emotional issues, depression, and anxiety. I had been put into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) throughout middle school to...

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I think my family member may be a psychopath? by user420354 on Mon Jul 10, 2017 11:24 pm
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I think my BF has relationship anxiety by lonelylatina17 on Sat Jun 17, 2017 4:02 am
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Was I sexually abused? by veglord on Tue Jun 13, 2017 1:31 pm
This is going to be difficult to write. I know that already. Heck, I'm at the first sentence and I've already deleted and rewrote the stuff more times than I'd have liked to. But man, when isn't this $#%^...

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Re: Anxiety is destroying me by Snaga on Sat Aug 12, 2017 6:15 am
I never considered my momma would pass. But she did- and now all I can do is think how I'm next. It's hard not to feel despair, but somehow we have to find something that will work for us, if we want...

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Re: Was it really rape? by Snaga on Mon May 22, 2017 1:39 pm
Consider posting this is Sexual Abuse forum....

And, yes.

Re: I am trapped in my mind , Bipolar II, Excessive Fantasizing by Snaga on Tue May 16, 2017 2:16 pm
Well, instead of the blogs, you might want to think about posting in open forum. But I'm not sure where. Perhaps a start in Living With Mental Illness forum, and then go from there.

I have dabbled,...

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Re: A Vicious Cycle. by Snaga on Fri May 12, 2017 3:54 am
If you're really wanting responses.. the blogs are hit and miss with interaction- think about posting in forum. Perhaps in Depression or Bipolar, to see what folks think....

Re: day 1 by quietaj on Tue Apr 25, 2017 10:20 pm
[quote="Snaga"]Welcome to the blogs![/quote]Thank you!!

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