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I can't take this no more , hocd , Please Help !!!! by Mattharris on Mon Aug 05, 2013 6:57 pm
Hi , imma 17 year old male who liked girls all his life , I had a crush on my 1st grade teacher and had a girlfriend in the second grade , I had about 4 relationships my whole life , I had lost my virginity at the age of 14 and had quite a few sex partners ever since , I never like the Same sex and I never had any thoughts , I find it disgusting ( I have nothing against gay people ) but I don't wanna be a gay , about 2 weeks ago I was in school and some girl said you are gay , you are gay , and I shrug it off for the rest of the day , but when I came home it pop up again , and then I question myself , am I really gay , am I really gay , do I walk funny? Do I talk funny? And every since I couldn't get this thought out my head and its been killing me.
So now the thoughts are even worse , thoughts that I don't even wanna talk about. My sex drive is gone , I don't even feel the same way to girls like I use to , I use to get woodys in class thinking about a girl , now I can't even think about them, it's like my mind is telling you like boys and I'm telling it I love girls. It's like every time I look at a girl I look back away. Now I think I have a attraction to boys which I no it's false but my mind is telling me yes , and I get really scared. I always wanted a family and kids by a beautiful women and now I can't even think about that. I ran across Hocd when I did some research and what's happening to them and what's happening to me are similar but not the same,
I need help to know if this is hocd or if I've been gay all along and didn't know it. Please tell me if the hocd is making these thoughts seem real or the thoughts are real.
I can't even play basketball , listen to music , or play video games with these thoughts popping up and my heart just collapse and beats really fast.
This has been a very bad summer and it has ruined my life it's getting to the point where I think I won't get my old self back.

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Low self-esteem by Khaitlin12 on Fri Feb 24, 2017 1:58 am
There are a lot of people who talk down on me and say that I'm fat and ugly. It makes me feel bad about myself I told my boyfriend about this and he tells me that I'm not ugly or fat. He tells me all the...

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bipolar disorder? by wasp_rainbowarrior on Fri Feb 24, 2017 1:23 am
now that i'm slowly coming back to reality (haven't felt any desire to have sex whatsoever since my last post) i've been thinking about my symptoms and i'm coming to the conclusion that i might have bipolar...

[ Continued ]

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Happiness is a choice? by rybo510 on Fri Feb 24, 2017 12:37 am
I think that is a very double sided comment. I dont have much to say today. My brother visited me and as such a supportive brother. I remember playing with army men or GI Joe. If I look at the older memories...

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Contempt for that women list! by OMNICELL on Thu Feb 23, 2017 5:47 pm
Im working through the processes of coming out dissociative disorder! its very confusing! it feels like Im a victem no matter what direction i go! and one feels contempt and entitled to everything because...

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If everyone were an introvert... by 2109 on Wed Feb 22, 2017 5:25 pm
...life would be a lot easier :!:

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Re: bipolar disorder? by quietgirl2538 on Fri Feb 24, 2017 7:54 am
I have most, if not all of baars and terruwe's writings. I am curious which one you are reading. By no means do I understand everything, but I have learned that their writings have helped me in the emotional...

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Re: 2017: The Last Chance for Therapy by HarleyMonroe on Tue Feb 21, 2017 5:20 am
I hope therapy is going well. It is so frustrating being misdiagnosed so I am really sorry to hear about that run around. I have also been put on a lot of drugs, and dealt with misdiagnosing and under-diagnosing....

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Re: i don't know the subject this time by wasp_rainbowarrior on Sat Feb 18, 2017 3:07 pm
i haven't felt that bad since yesterday but i haven't felt anything else either. whenever i stop and pay attention to how i'm feeling i get this tight chest feeling and my heart beats faster, like some...

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Re: Fell off the DVD waggon... by lonelydaydream on Sat Feb 18, 2017 12:31 pm
[quote="Snaga"]Considering you're already past the mean survival for the worse kind, and the other is much more common, correct? Prayers and fingers crossed...

I don't think it's odd at all...

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Re: Howdy y'all by Snaga on Sat Feb 18, 2017 2:32 am
Howdy back and welcome to being an active member of PF

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