Thinking about stopping my antipsychotic.

Abilify is giving me symptoms of NMS, and even if it’s not NMS, I’m so sweaty half the time that I just can’t exercise, and I’m an avid athlete. I am contemplating stopping my antipsychotics and just relying on my anti-anxiety medication (SSRI, Lexapro) and mood stabilizers for stability, especially since my psychosis was bearable for many years to begin with, and really only escalated to the level of being unlivable after acute trauma (the house fire.) I feel confident that between seeing my therapist, regularly for therapy, I can get off of the Abilify, since I’m honestly running out of antipsychotics to try… Most of them make me homicidal and hypervigilant, or make me gain too much weight when I’m already pre-diabetic. I don’t want to risk it. The only one that was neutral to me was Saphris, and that one didn’t work for me. Mind you, I’m only on 2 mg of Abilify so my psychosis is pretty mild to begin with, since some people need to be on 30 to control their paranoia and hallucinations.

Thoughts? Anyone here manage their psychosis with just mood stabilizers and therapy?

(Note: My current diagnosis is schizoaffective, not just bipolar.)

Hi Dawson,
Living with the side effects of medication can be frustrating, I know.

I think a very common response to medication, especially when there are side effects is, "All the symptoms have gone away. I don't need this medication any more."

I tried stopping my medication a couple of times in the first year I was on it, only to lead up to a crash triggered by some insignificant event.

My question for you is, "How will you manage the facts of life without the Abilify?" In my case, the answer is, "Not very well."

The only things I can suggest are don't quit 100% all at once. Take half, and see how that goes.
My other suggestion is talk it over with your psychiatrist first.

Take care,

Why not try another antipsychotic? Ask if there are more to try. I have diabetes and I do blame it on the medicines I was taking. I was taking several different anti-depressants. Abilify didn't raise my blood sugar levels. But again, it can be different for others. I now take Latuda and it also doesn't raise my blood sugar levels. But it can. I was allergic to Saphris. I know how it feels to dislike the effects such as these from the meds you need. I already have diabetes but I understand wanting to avoid getting it. Excercising and watching what you eat can greatly help with that. Try that and see if it helps you with the pre-diabetes. I only write this because you also need to be well in terms of the bipolar. Crossing my fingers for you.

Latuda made me homicidal lol.
Saphris made me sleepwalk, and still kept me psychotic.
Geodon made me homicidal.
Zyprexa made me gain too much weight.
Risperdal ###$ with my hormones.
Seroquel made me too sleepy to function.
Trilafon didn't work for me, even at high doses.
I have a mild arrhythmia so I can't take Clozapine.
My pdoc mentioned one more, but it would mess with my Hashimoto's. So I can't take that one either.

I've literally tried them all.
And I don't want to risk becoming homicidal again, especially mid-semester.
I can live with psychosis. Last semester I was psychotic because Risperdal stopped working for me. I got a 2.75 GPA.
I can't live with wanting to stab people and burn the dorm down.

And still, I can't lose weight if I can't exercise. I can't exercise if I have hot flashes constantly. And being pre-diabetic is unhealthy.

But I am meeting with my psychiatrist tomorrow. I am very hopeful.

Seroquel would have made me homicidal if I had kept on it, guaranteed. I was destroying my marriage with epic verbal abuse on the first night. This is the reason I am so vehement about antipsychotics. It would have ended in murder, and that's no joke.

The only thing I can add here is about the long term consequences of untreated psychosis.

In myself I notice specific cognitive problems such as difficulty sequencing. So things like cooking become difficult, and it's difficult to learn new material. I seem to be improving again though. I dropped 20 IQ points on a test since before I became unwell. I don't know if I will get that function back again, especially if I periodically drop my meds like I did before.

I didn't mean to be unsympathetic about side effects. Risperidal gave me a temporary 'stroke' where I couldn't manage my saliva or speak properly. Abilify gave me permanent tardive dyskinesia in my hands (I'm a pianist). Zyprexa gave me tardive dyskinesia in my face, so it was immediately stopped. Seroquel is all I can tolerate.

The problem with going off, any of the medications, is that doing so has landed me in hospital.

We people with bipolar are often very smart. A swedish study showed a three fold risk for bipolar in students with grades 2SD above the mean (top 1.3%), an increased risk for students doing well in humanities and music.
I think sometimes this works against us when it comes to adhering to a medication regimen. We can come up with a fairly concrete set of arguments against having to take this poisonous stuff, against the idea that we're sick. I know I've done it a few times before. Part of it is denial in not wanting to have this illness. All the side effects and difficulties certainly don't help.

All I can say is to please continue to work with your doctor to find the best combination for you.

I'm just as sharp at 42 as I was at 22, with twenty years of bitterly acquired wisdom in between. I have been intermittently psychotic all my life. I'll take that over diabetes, obesity, tardive this, tardive that, anhedonia, rebound psychosis, snuffed-out fire, destroyed marriage, murder, etc. It's just not worth it. Both my eyes are open: I understand what I'm up against.

It's damn hard, but I'm one of those people who doesn't take the highway and goes overland with a canoe on my head, because it's harder. I will break the Mustang or die trying.

BTW, I'm in the top 0.006% (1 in 15,000). Not a lie, I have been tested to tiny bits.

Dawson wrote:But I am meeting with my psychiatrist tomorrow. I am very hopeful.

I think this is good that you are discussing things with your psych

How did it go?

Cracked

I had an IQ in the high 130's-low 140's.
It dropped to 111 due to my memory and reaction times being so sub-par.

My pdoc supported my decision, and was impressed by all the research that I did on the neurotransmitters involved.

I just stopped the Abilify last night.

I meet with her again in 2 days so she can finish going over my case and ridiculous history.