A thought about Depression

I had a thought today that made me wonder as I was on my way to the hospital (I'm on a clinical trial for tDCS).
It does however have the hallmarks of something that isn't new, or at least the idea has probably already been considered/raised many times.

The thought was that because I do not avoid the truth, or ignore facts, nor pretend this or that doesn't exist, nor dismiss the harsh realities of life and also, that I've thought about so many things about life and come to various conclusions, that being in the state that has been labeled as "depressed" is in fact, a perfectly normal state given what life really is.

i.e. I am not ill.

Furthermore, that its the large numbers of people who choose to avoid the truth, dismiss/ignore life's gritty reality, the numerous immovable facts, that do not examine life and all those things that go against a happy shiny smiley world, who are deluded and who live in an endless state of denial and against whom I am compared.

I know its simplistic and there would be nuances/variances, but I think I have outlined the crux of the matter.

I wonder what others think.

Some would argue you're just projecting your feelings of bitterness and failure on life, and that to be truly objective one must be completely emotionless, like a robot essentially. The only real purpose one could find in that is to continue rolling the stone up the mountain like Sisyphus or cause others who appear ignorant to recognize their plight.

Last week my therapist said to me, "Well, you wouldn't be suicidal if you just felt better emotionally." Duh! Of course, no one would be suicidal if they "felt better emotionally." The only time anyone would ever be suicidal would be if someone was going to kill one of their kids, and they said, kill me instead.

I think there's a happiness spectrum, and some people (poor fools) are deliriously happy all the time, and some people are more like Eeyore. I also think there should be some other term for the chronically depressed - melancholy maybe? But that term is so out of vogue, and it also generally refers to a state that is expected to change.

Logically, when a person has had so much trauma in their life, how could they see the world in any other way than a depressed state? You'd need some serious swiss cheese memory banks to see it any other way.

I was trying to explain to my son today (because he thinks my irrational fears are funny, or cute, or something along that line) how glad I am that he will never be embarrassed by the unbidden reaction to some innocuous benign thing, how your body reacts before your mind even remembers why. When that happens all the time, even if you can predict it, when it just never leaves you alone, how can you not be depressed? Seriously!