Relationships

What are your relationships like. Do you have a lot of friends, are you in a long term dating relationship? How do those work out for you?

At times, I'll get on good terms with almost every person I meet, and then as long as I keep up with them, I can keep them as friends. I tend to become friends with only those that provide me with excitement; those that have interesting conversations and/or those who share my interests, for example. As for serious relationships, I know that I am capable of "getting girls" but I find that, for the most part, it isn't worth the effort. A girlfriend to me is a good friend + sex (and perhaps some social status) in exchange for a lot of my time and money.

Hah, I feel the same way about girlfriend/boyfriend stuff. There are friends, adequateness, and people I don't know. Boyfriends are just good friends I have sex with, I don't know how to differentiate on a deeper level than that.

My last relationship was like something out of Monty Python. I hooked up with Danny bc he had ADD too and was as weird as I was. Our average day went something like this:

Wake up anytime between 3pm and 8pm. Have sex. Danny goes limp. I'm not too sure if he's finished bc I'm listening to the radio. I don't particularly care bc he gives great lickie. He can deal with his own condom cleanup. I have to pee.

Anytime between 3:30pm and 8:30pm: Walk around and try to clean up some of the clutter that seems to be growing out of the tables and sofa. I don't remember eating that! Who TF put that there? I can't even blame my 3-year-old for the mess bc she's been at Grandma's all week. Danny's laughing like a frikkin mule at something on tv. I grab a clean-ish towel from YAY!! the hook in the kitchen, where it's supposed to be. I spread it out on the sofa bc I'm still nekked and I don't want crumbs up my ladybits when I sit down. Why pay for laundry and air conditioning when you can go naturelle? I sit down to see what's so funny. I start laughing too. I must be jiggling bc Danny is licking my leg again. Cool.

Anytime between 4pm and 9pm: I'm done round 2, lounging and glowing. Danny jumps up, babbling about some weird crap. I start laughing again while I channel surf. He starts cooking eggs in the buff, still babbling at the speed of blight like Robin Williams, throwing his eggs around like they're some flubber experiment. LMFAO. I can barely hold my sexpot pose. I'm laughing so hard. He complains about the eggstuff on his hand. He can't find the soap, so he says F**K! and turns around and starts jerking off. I'm laughing into a pillow with my eyes all teary bc he's so frikkin funny. What a weirdo I look up and Dangit! There's a monster cloud of smoke over the stove! I holler CAREFUL! He turns around, still pulling his thang. I jump up, but he doesn't need help. He's wiry and quick. He grabs a plate, dumps the eggs, and switches the burner off in one quick motion, then drops the pan in the sink, rinses it, dark smoke hissing out everywhere. He compares the cloud to the one over Hiroshima in '45, and tells me this horrible racist joke about some 'japs' hollering "Ho-ree cow! WTF was that?" I hate myself for laughing, but his stupid voice and bouncing boner are just so SILLY! He walks back&forth across the kitchen saying it over and over again while he salts his pile of black goo that passes for breakfast... "Ho-ree cow! WTF was that...Ho-ree cow! WTF was that..." bouncing boner keeping the beat for his odd mantra.

Any time between 4:30pm and 9:30pm: Give up on eating bc the mess Danny makes when he cooks is beyond comprehension. I'll put the rubber gloves on and clean it when he's not around. We shower seperately. Funny only goes so far. I don't want him too close to me when I'm on slippery porcelain. If it's closer to 5:30, we'll go catch a Drag show/dinner theatre act. He always pays for dinner/breakfast if he FUBARs my kitchen. If it's closer to 10:00 we head straight to my friend's after hours club, where we're both working for daily tax-free cash as cleaners. Work all night. Come home around daybreak. Sleep all day again.

Unfortunately, Danny went off his meds and developed a nasty coke habit, so I had to ditch the relationship and the job after a month. Mom wouldn't keep my daughter any longer, and I wouldn't have that guy or his lifestyle around my baby. His nasty smelly Greek Scarface wannabes treated women like dogs, and hated my guts for singing the themesong from The Godfather in the style of Curly from The Three Stooges when they started with their stupid gangster talk. Waaaa-na-na-neee-na-naaah-na...Waaaa-na-na-neee-naah-naaah...Frikkin bunch of posers. Bunch of middle class kids from Woodbridge talking out their asses. I decided I'd had it with him when he brought his Ick Crew home to do lines on my frikkin kitchen table.

I tried being nice about it, fixing him up with my beautiful crazy tranny friend to get him to leave. He came back all whacked out and tried to pick a fight with me in front of my little one. I pounded him and gave him the boot. I'm glad he at least cared enough to pull his punches. He was a pitfighter (he said? He WAS scrappy) and I walked away without a bruise. I'm still scratching my head over how he did that. I felt pretty banged up, but no bruises.We could have messed each other up bad. I would have had the worst of it. He left and I never saw him again. He's probably dead now. I'm not losing any sleep over it.

My relationships with my family are ok. My mom has CNS Lupus, so she's nuckin futs. I hated her before I understood that she doesn't even know what she's saying half the time. I talk myself into holding enough of an abstract, dutybound, quasi-Kantian respect for her humanity to keep a formal distance and be polite when I visit her once or twice/year. She still gets on my nerves, tho. I live with my sister, and we have similar difficulties to the ones I had with Danny over housework and schedules. But she doesn't jerk off all day or hang out with loser gangster wannabes. She's been diagnosed with ADD, but never messed herself up with drugs. We bicker a lot over our space, time, stuff, and money issues, but it's never come to blows.

I adore my kids! They are so beautiful! We all work our butts off to make sure my son gets the best life possible for an Aspie. He's worked just as hard to overcome his social difficulties and problems with his fine motor skills. He's so earnest and kind, and so polite. I've saved every Mother's Day gift he's made for me. My daughter's 19 now. She's *normal*, smart and funny, and such a sweetheart. She's softspoken, gentle, pretty and arty. She kinda reminds me of Kirsten Dunst as MJ in Spiderman. We bicker too, sometimes She's been angry enough to jump on me twice in the last 5 years. I won't pound her, tho. I shoved her, tripped her and put my foot in her belly to get her off me. She's smaller than I am, and can't fight her way out of a wet paper bag. It wouldn't be fair to hurt her. We get along really well 95% of the time. She's my best friend. I get along really well with her fiancee and his family, too.

My family responsibilities don't leave time for boyfriends or acquaintances/friends right now. I guess I'm lucky bc I don't really get lonely. I simply decide who I want to spend my time with and when. I enjoy spending time with my family. If I decide at some future date that my son will be ok with a babysitter one or 2 nights a week while I build a social life, well I'll go out and get that social life. In the meantime, I don't need a bunch of bouncing boners to validate me. I prefer quality friendships where our common interests give us enough joy to build deep and lasting bonds. When it comes to plain old physical gratification, I'm fine with locking myself in the bathroom at 2am with my dildo once/month.