Do I tell my dad about AS?

Hello

Should I tell my dad that I have been diagnosed with Autism?

Here are a few pointers you should know.

He is a conservative.
He believes that I should have a social life.
He believes that I should make my own mind up on things like routines, although I prefer being told what to do.

ogr, I can't remember if you've said how old you are? Do you live with your dad? If you do or if he is a big part of your life and helps you make decisions in some capacity, then certainly it could help for him to understand why you do certain things you do. Unless you feel that he would react badly and either condemn you for it or else deny the possibility that "his kid has AS", then you might want to hold off.

ogr wrote:Hello

Should I tell my dad that I have been diagnosed with Autism?

Here are a few pointers you should know.

He is a conservative.
He believes that I should have a social life.
He believes that I should make my own mind up on things like routines, although I prefer being told what to do.

i haven't told my parents. my father, in particular, is completely unsympathetic regarding my depression. he would have no hope of understanding AS.

so, i think this depends on what your motive for such a disclosure is. usually people simply want to be better understood. but what we want and what we get don't always match up very well. and largely this is a 'suck it and see' process.

PS: of your list of pointers: 1) seems irrelevant to me whilst 2) and 3) seem justifiable.

I am 24, going on 25 but I feel a lot younger.

I have a disability where my ligaments are broken, either torn, fraying or stretchy, resulting in falling over and unable to get up a lot, he didn't understand how I found it so difficult until he had a brain haemorrhage, and couldn't use his legs either.

Maybe tell him all my symptoms and see how that goes?

How did you guys tell your parents, those who did.

I think it's normal for aspies to feel younger than they are.

Perhaps telling him in that way might work, like leading him slowly to it instead of hitting him with it. Say something like: "I've been wondering if I have AS, look at these symptoms, what do you think?" (Men, especially older ones, typically like to be asked their opinion, so they can think the conclusion was at least partly theirs!) Not knowing your dad, and only going by generalities, that might be a good approach to take.

I didn't know about AS until I was 43, and my dad is passed on and my mom has Alzheimers, so telling them never came up for me. I did tell my older siblings though, and it was pretty easy since they're all pretty accepting and laid back kinds of people. So, sorry my story doesn't relate!

My Dad just thought I wanted to put a label around some symptoms I had so I called them something cus apparently that's what us young people do. (I'm 25) He did accept it and told me he'd support but he didn't tell me he believed me.

So I would advise thinking about why you want to tell him, what you want from telling him, what you think you'll actually achieve from telling him then weigh it all up and make your decision.

ogr wrote:How did you guys tell your parents, those who did.

My parents don't know about it yet, but in the past they have been involved in the process of a misdiagnosis of my condition. I've been wanting to tell them for a while (they will probably even be relieved, considering that my former diagnosis was of a type of schizophrenia), but I haven't made any plans to actually tell them, since it would probably sound like mental hypochondria. Just like the first time (with the misdiagnosis), it's my psychiatrist who is insisting on talking to them. In any case, I bought a translated hard copy of a book on AS, months ago, exclusively to be eventually given to my parents.

I've already told my sister-in-law about it, it wasn't a big deal. She has a (severely) autistic brother anyway, she's used to it.

a lable does not change you
and your father knows you
so ther's no reason to tell him
(unless you suspect him to be as 2)

madjoe wrote:a lable does not change you
and your father knows you
so ther's no reason to tell him
(unless you suspect him to be as 2)

But doesn't he know himself?

There's a hole in your logic.

I am wanting to let my dad know and stop worrying about me, not having a social life, and explain why I have difficulties in walking etc.

I shall ask my mum and see what she thinks, as she was married to the man.

I think if I did tell him, I would start with the symptoms first as suggested above.