Social skills dropping fast...

When I was in elementary school, I was very social and friendly. Maybe a little too social, as I talked way too much to complete strangers. But around junior high, that started to reverse. My social skills dropped, and I talked to people less and less.

Now, in the latter part of my 3rd year of high school, I barely ever socialize with anyone. Even with my family. I automatically try as hard as possible to avoid any kind of situation that would put me near people, and lock myself alone in my room for extended periods of time.

It's gotten to the point where my parents are desperately worried, and keep trying to get me to youth groups and stuff. I recently quit Boy Scouts to get myself away from the other scouts, and the leaders and my parents are trying to bribe me to join again ._.

Sounds like you may have more social anxiety than anything. Is your reason for less socializing due to genuine lack of interest or concern over making mistakes?

The "lock myself alone in my room for extended periods of time" sounds a lot like the hikikomori problem in Japan.

neal88 wrote:The "lock myself alone in my room for extended periods of time" sounds a lot like the hikikomori problem in Japan.

This is a fascinating term I haven't heard before, decided to check wikipedia for more on it. For those interested: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori

A few interesting parts that really hit me well:

Hikikomori is similar to the social withdrawal exhibited by some people with pervasive developmental disorders (PDDs), a group of disorders that include Asperger syndrome, PDD-NOS and "classic" autism. This has led some psychiatrists to suggest that hikikomori sufferers may be affected by PDDs and other disorders that affect social integration, but that their disorders are altered from their typical Western presentation because of the social and cultural pressures unique to Japan

Kinda obvious, very interesting though

As do many societies, Japan exerts a great deal of pressure on adolescents to be successful and perpetuate the existing social status quo.

Young adults may feel overwhelmed by modern Japanese society, or be unable to fulfill their expected social roles as they have not yet formulated a sense of personal honne and tatemae – one's "true self" and one's "public façade" – necessary to cope with the paradoxes of adulthood.

What I find interesting about these quotes is that, at least in my opinion, they relate to AS. Specifically, the idea of lying and having to "put on a face". One hard time I have with dealing with society is the necessity at times in having a certain way of being that doesn't necessary really match with what I personally believe. Being someone I'm not feels like lying, so I have a hard time really doing it....even if it means people don't like me for who I am.



Personally, I can't say I've locked myself in my room for 6 months without going out, but personally I do like being home more than being out, and I don't really do stuff with many. I still work, mostly out of necessity, but still. I doubt I could function in the Japanese social system, due to the competitive nature of things. I compete with myself, but not others very much.

I hadn't thought of it this way before, but even though I'm not Japanese and I don't live in Japan (literally, far from it), I guess I have become a "hikikomori" myself. I don't like it, but it still seems to me like it's better than the available alternatives.

-----------------

@kinetsuka: I would say this is probably more accurately described as "an increase in social demands" rather than "a decrease in social skills". Even if your skills haven't been enough lately, I think you should give yourself the credit for the social skills that you have or have developed. People don't understand the active effort involved, so they won't give you the credit you deserve, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't give yourself that credit

Oh woah, that Hikikimori thing sounds exactly like me, because I stay away from society and tend to push out things I can't handle. And I'm enrolled in a lot of high-level classes (my math class is 2 years ahead of the normal, for example) so that definitely puts a lot of pressure on me.

I also think the hikikomori/otaku culture in Japan really resembles the asperger lifestyle although it's mostly seen as a social problem there rather than neurological/medical. (Though this can also be because these kind of issues are seen as a huge taboo there from what i know.)

I can't speak for the "otaku culture" (I saw some of those types in Akihabara and they were just weird) but I think the hikikomori problem is a combination of Japan's strict, structured society and social rules and a person's susceptibility to a neurological disorder. When they are overloaded with the pressures of what's expected of them in society they withdraw.

The problem with Japan is that they prefer to sweep problems underneath the rug instead of addressing them for fear of offending people over it (thanks to the concept of tatemae) and dealing with neurological or psychological problems is practically unheard of, to the point that the very few psychologists/psychiatrists there are Westerners. I've even heard that Japanese don't ever talk about their problems with other people, and then when they suffer from depression because of it and visit a doctor, the doctor literally tells them to go to an English language school because no Japanese person will ever listen to or help them.