Might be an aspie? Thoughts? Advice?

Ok, so I heard about Asperger's and thought it sounded a little like me so I've been researching it for a couple days. I took a couple online Asperger's quizzes. My results were 149 out of 200 and it says I'm very likely an aspie. It would explain a lot. I'm not social and find it very difficult to make friends. I don't like it when strangers try to talk to me and small talk aggravates me and usually leaves me wishing the other person would just shut up and go away. I don't like looking at people and feel...exposed(?) when making eye contact. I've always had trouble with relationships and dating, and have been told by 3 different people that I seemed uninterested in them, which was surprising to me and completely opposite. My current boyfriend accuses me of hating waitresses and being rude to them which is also surprising and baffling to me. I am a loner and I'm happiest when I'm by myself. I have an obsession with books. When I'm reading one, I lose sleep over it and carry it everywhere with me if I have to go somewhere and haven't finished reading it just in case I might get the chance to read a bit while I'm out. I find myself saying "sorry" a lot for lack of knowing what else to say in a lot of situations. I don't like to be touched. I have been diagnosed with and medicated for general anxiety disorder. A lot of things give me anxiety. Changes in my plans or life that weren't initiated by me, unannounced visitors and unexpected phone calls, finances and spending large amounts of money. I'm a pretty honest person and I am frequently confused, hurt, and angry when people don't treat me the way I would treat them. I avoid social situations, even with family. I have 2 friends that I'm content to only talk to every few months. I sometimes want friends and to have someone to do things with, but I just don't know how and am fearful because people never treat me the same as I would treat them. I also have an issue with frequently thinking that someone I'm attempting to be social with (family, boyfriend, friend) is mad at me and that I've done something wrong though I don't know what. I have trouble with keeping long term employment as well. After the initial couple weeks at a new job I start feeling like people don't like me or are angry at me and it gives me anxiety to have to go to work. I've always felt different, that I don't fit in, and that something is wrong with me...but I've never known what. I've always just felt like I was a bad person.

Do any aspies have any of the same issues? Do you think I might be an aspie? Advice and where to get help?

meinsc wrote:Do any aspies have any of the same issues?

rather than go through your list of symptoms and comment on them individually, i'll just say that i think most people with AS would relate to what you've said to quite a high degree. i certainly do.

meinsc wrote:Do you think I might be an aspie?

it does sound likely. but if i were you i'd be guided by the available tests. if you consistently score highly on these then that's as good an indication as any, other than a formal diagnosis, which in my opinion doesn't offer any significant benefits and can be quite detrimental in certain circumstance.

meinsc wrote:Advice and where to get help?

there are plenty of book available on asperger's syndrome. read up on the subject and take away whatever advice you can gain from them. amazon is quite a good place to search for books, simply because it's quite comprehensive and gives feedback on them too.

shock_the_monkey wrote:rather than go through your list of symptoms and comment on them individually, i'll just say that i think most people with AS would relate to what you've said to quite a high degree. i certainly do.

Thank you for your response and it's a comfort to know that I'm not the only one with these issues and who feels this way. It's been a constant struggle throughout my 28 years trying and failing to be like everyone else and not feeling good enough because I don't know what's wrong with me and can't just be "normal". I've been in and out of therapy and diagnosed with and treated for GAD and depression because of it. I've also been struggling with not knowing who I am as a person because I do tend to mimic those around me and try to be what I think they want me to be.

shock_the_monkey wrote:it does sound likely. but if i were you i'd be guided by the available tests. if you consistently score highly on these then that's as good an indication as any, other than a formal diagnosis, which in my opinion doesn't offer any significant benefits and can be quite detrimental in certain circumstance.

I have taken 4 different online Asperger's quizzes and all of them have said that I am very likely an aspie. Since I've heard of Asperger's I've been reading up on it a lot. I can definitely relate to most of the symptoms and it would explain a lot about why I am the way I am. I think I would benefit from a formal diagnosis because these issues affect my life and work so much and I'm not sure what to do about it (especially the work part). The anxiety is the worst of it along with the mood swings and irritation when people try to make small talk with me.

anxiety is a symptom of low serotonin.

The highest concentrations [of serotonin] are found in:

walnuts
plantains
pineapples
bananas
kiwis
plums
tomatoes

shock_the_monkey wrote:anxiety is a symptom of low serotonin.

This may be true but it's an oversimplification. The cause of anxiety is part "chemical", part psychological. The OP even explained very real and persistent psychological reasons for anxiety.

meinsc wrote:I've also been struggling with not knowing who I am as a person because I do tend to mimic those around me and try to be what I think they want me to be.

This sounds very familiar to me. I think I can say my life has been a very long identity crisis, which I'm only now starting to feel like I can get out of, after discovering that I have the option of not pretending. (It's easy to know what you're pretending to be. But what about what you are pretending not to be? That's the hardest and most important part!)

Quoting from [this book]:

Attwood wrote:When adults with Asperger's syndrome have used imitation and acting to achieve superficial social competence, they can have considerable difficulty convincing people that they have a real problem with social understanding and empathy; they have become too plausible in their role to be believed.

This coping strategy can be effective enough for meaningless (but necessary) social interaction, but I doubt it can ever be beneficial on a personal level. Not only it's inevitably draining, it also deprives you from meaningful contact with other people.

anagram wrote:

shock_the_monkey wrote:anxiety is a symptom of low serotonin.

This may be true but it's an oversimplification. The cause of anxiety is part "chemical", part psychological. The OP even explained very real and persistent psychological reasons for anxiety.

i can't see anything in the original post that suggests a causal link between any condition or situation and her anxiety. indeed, GAD is generalise anxiety disorder. in other words, nothing specific is causing it. and moreover, people over-rationalise and will attribute all sorts of causations to things that are biological rather than sociological. in short, i really do think, based on the evidence, that what i wrote is not an over-simplification!!!

shock_the_monkey wrote:in short, i really do think, based on the evidence, that what i wrote is not an over-simplification!!!

I can't imagine an identity crisis not generating anxiety. "Struggling with not knowing who you are as a person" is the definition of an identity crisis. So the evidence is there.

anagram wrote:I can't imagine an identity crisis not generating anxiety. "Struggling with not knowing who you are as a person" is the definition of an identity crisis. So the evidence is there.

well, i can't see where she says she's having an 'identity chrisis' or 'struggling with not knowing who she is'. i think were going to have to agree to differ on this one.

back to the OP. work can be stressful. the best thing to do is try to avoid those things that cause you stress. also, if possible, confide in you management and ask them to help. some jobs need more human contact than others. it might be possible to limit this at work more effectively by changing what you do or even the way you do it. that said, i knew someone who had AS and had to quit their job because of the stress.

shock_the_monkey wrote:or 'struggling with not knowing who she is'. i think were going to have to agree to differ on this one.

Well I... copy-pasted it word for word...

anagram wrote:

shock_the_monkey wrote:or 'struggling with not knowing who she is'. i think were going to have to agree to differ on this one.

Well I... copy-pasted it word for word...

OK, found it. but you're making a link between this and anxiety, not her.