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Is my wife an alcoholic ?

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Is my wife an alcoholic ?

Postby Sledge » Tue Apr 19, 2011 6:59 pm

Hello to all and I am new to this alcohol forum. I was recently married back in november right after my wife and I met in August. I am 40 years old and am a very smart person. I thought ! Our relationship started out very good but now it has turned into something that I think I just realized i'm in deeper than I really new. I believe now that my wife may be a full blown alcoholic and was very adept at hiding it from me.

I drink a beer every now and then but could really care less if I have one or not. Now she on the other hand in the beginning would bring home wine like on a irregular basis and so I would have a glass with her. I would stop after one glass but she would keep going and going and going till her eyes would gloss and speech would become slurry. I never really thought to much about it other than we were having a great time and she was real happy and the sex was awesome. So at this point it was sporatic and irregular so I didnt put to much thought into it. She didnt even really go to the bar that much either.

O.K. so fast forward till March and April now. This weekend we went out for her Birthday and she got messed up bad. On the way home she looks at me and says "I hope you know you married an alcoholic". Well then last week I took her son to the skateboard park and she shows up and I go to give her a kiss and shes got one of these mini wine bottles in the car that she was drinking. She also started going to the liquor store to buy vodka in about January and would have drinks at home. On one occasion I had a conversation with her brother and I asked him about her alcohol intake and he flat looked at me and said that her and her sisters have done nothing but get drunk and drink all of the time. He even asked me if I wanted him to help me get her into some rehab. Then just the other night her and I took a bath together and she was having a drink she made and she looked at me and said "do you think I drink to much?". So I guess i'm a bit confused as to why there wasnt much drinking in the beggining but now has progressed to something very different. I love my wife and she really does have a great heart but I dont know what to do. Is this common for alcoholics to do this ? What is the prognosis ? Will I live a life of hell like this with her ? I also wanted to add that her 13 year old daughter has a cow when she drinks. One day she talked me into going and having a drink with her and we met her daughter on the road on the way home from school. When her daughter asked where we were headed she replied to have a drink and we would be home shortly. Her daughter said yah right mom maybe youll be home in about 3 or 4 hours. My wifes reply as we drove off was " i'll ######6 drink as many drinks as I want". She has also started to say things now like she doesnt want to be at home and it gives her anxiety to be at home. Yesterday while fixing stuff around the house she came outside with a vodka and pepsi. The weird thing is she never drinks the same thing, it is always somehting different. One night I decided to try and keep up with her and we were drinking rum and coke. Holy cripes I got $#%^ faced on three and she was still going at five. Then as we left she looked at me and said "you wouldnt make a very good alcoholic".

Anyway your replies are greatly appreciated ! :)
“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.”
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Re: Is my wife an alcoholic ?

Postby athwart » Thu Apr 21, 2011 12:51 pm

I am new to recovery, so don't take my word for gospel. If your wife is not an alcoholic, it sounds like she may be well on her way. If her family members are concerned about her drinking, then you need to be concerned.

The wine bottle in the car, I think, may be a dead giveaway that she is an alcoholic. Why did she have that in the car? Why was she drinking that in the CAR? I did crap like that, drinking and driving, at the same time.

Alcoholics may not have a drink of choice. I didn't, but it depended on the circumstances I was in. If I was with friends, it was beer or Jagermeister. My wife's friends, it was wine. If I was alone, it was vodka or Jagermeister. Or maybe rum, if I was in the mood.

Has her drinking affected her job?

Another dead giveaway is her 13 year-old daughter being angry about her drinking. If a child doesn't like it, something is wrong.

So, in short, I would gather that if she isn't 'full-blown' now, that day is coming.

If she hasn't had any serious consequences from her drinking, it may be hard to even suggest that she has a drinking problem.
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Re: Is my wife an alcoholic ?

Postby incontrol1 » Sat Apr 23, 2011 7:34 am

Yes,I believe your Wife is an Alcoholic or is just about to reach the top of that hill.
Drinking all the time is the give away,have you caught her Drinking in the morning yet,Vodka is the usual choice for that.
I think she is reaching out to you by making the comments she has,sit her down after she has had a big binge and talk it through with her,this may sound a bit cruel but i was most open to talking about my Alcoholism when i felt bad about getting wrecked again.
You need to check your home for hiding places try,washing baskets,back of drawers and cupboards,toilet cisterns and any other places you would not normally put things or go to.
I think she is still in denial and so are you,she is at the stage where she compares herself to her other big drinking friends and deems herself still OK.
The only peace of advise i can offer you at the moment is DO NOT DRINK with her,not ever.
This stage can take years or months to get round arm yourself with as much info on Alcoholism as you can,visit A.A websites,forums and The Big Book online is good.
Go easy :roll:
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