Feeling ugly and hating my nose

Hi,

This is my first time here on the site. There's a lot of forums here and I wasn't sure which one to go to. It's about being female and spending most of my life thinking I'm ugly. I've always compared myself to female stars, friends, female relatives, including my beautiful glamour mum (who started as a bunny girl and then became an actress). She's got so many photos of her all professionally done, and she looks so stunning.

I never really knew my mother very well as my parents had problems after I was born. My paternal grandparents raised me. My natural mum was never interested in me even though she cince had other kids with a different man. I used to visit her sometimes when younger, and she didn't pay much attention to me, but I noticed how much she was devoted to my sibling. In my twenties she suddenly cut me out and toldme never to contact her again. I felt as though she hated me.

I always used to get picked on at school. I found it difficult to make friends at college, university, work and other places. What also bothered me really was my face. I always hated the shape of my nose as it looks big. Allmy female relatives have got really nice noses. Why did I have to have such a horrible nose? If I could afford to I would surgery to chisel the tip of my nose. I've always paintshopped my photographs before I show them to people because my nose always look bigger in photos. Then people say I look "very pretty". They don't when I put up pictures of my own self's nose.

My dad used to say I was beautiful but also he said I "wasn't photogenic enough". What does thismean? Other people used to say I was less pretty than my mum. Now I know why my mum disowned me... because I'm ugly. Now I know why I haven't got friends - because I'm ugly. Now I know why I never got asked out by guys - because of my ugly nose. Now I know why my husband isn't interested in me now - because I'm ugly.

I hardly have any photos of myself. Most of my pictures are from childhood. That is because I grew up noticing what a horrible face I have. I look in the mirror and know this is why people enjoy picking on me and hate me.. because of my face.

I feel stupid saying this. I'm 37 years old and have a beautiful daughter but I always felt like this. There's a recent picture of me with my daughter but I look like a monster.

It sounds like one of the problems here is low self esteem due to your parents and how they have treated you. Talking to someone might help you with that and get you to realise you are a good and beautiful person who deserves to be loved. Can you write a list of your good points and keep it with you in your purse to remind you?

Cracked

Hey, let me start by saying what you've probably already heard, everyone looks different and if we all looked alike then the world would be boring. I used to like my nose untill I was asked in high school what do you like most about myself, I simply said "I quite like my nose." my best friend reply was "Really?" since then I've hated my nose and like you I'd love to have a nose job, my nose is big and fat, I'd love it too be tiny and neater. I fix photos of myself too, to make myself appear prettier than I am. I still dislike how I look but I think that life is too short for worrying about looks, LOOKS FADE, there not permanent and they are not what a person will fall in love with. Looks attract a person they don't keep the person. I'm learning that even if I dont look perfect all the time I have freinds, family, and an amazing bf that loves how I look and doesnt judge me for my looks. Being photogenic I think is when a persons face is quite symetrical, altho most if not all photos these days are touched up anyway. What your mum did was wrong to cut you out of her life and I don't have much experience on things like that so im afraid I can't give much advice. Friends are people who enjoy being with you, if a 'friend' wants to be with you becuse of looks, money, etc they are not a true friend. Same applys to men, if they don't want to be with you because of how you look then they arent worth having.

If you feel that you are ugly, this will no doubt affect how you act and behave, you wont be confident or proud of yourself and honestly thats what turns a man on, not how you look, you could be a size 8, size 28, be pretty, or average, have a tiny nose, big nose, whatever, fact is if you feel confident and portray yourslef as a sexy indivdual your man will see that too!! You are what you show yourself as basically, so if you slink up looking condfident and acting confident you may not feel it as first but you will eventually.

Something ive found to help me is to not only take pictures of yourself and NOT edit them and let people see them, but allow OTHERS to take pictures of you, the point is that you can over come your fear of having 'normal' pictures taken of yourself and allowing alot of other people to veiw them as well, im sure you know that noone looks perfect and flawless in real life!! Your just how God made you and you are perfect in his eyes.

I think it would be nice for you and your family to book a professional photograph to be taken. One of those big ones that you can hang in the main room. You should look at it everyday and say aloud "I am beautiful, I have a beautiful family and m going to show everyone how proud I am."

I'm here if u wanna talk, Love Maddy xxxxxxx

In fact, you are very beautiful, beautiful woman from the self-confidence, self-confidence is the most beautiful woman. So you make your self-confidence, believe you

It's not your nose, it's called perception.

Hi again,

Thanks all so much for your replies. I guess it is self confidence that I should develope. I need to learn how to become more confident. You've each been really helpful.

xxx

You are welcome. Start with that list of all the good things about you...

Cracked

I completely feel the same way! I HATE my nose, my older brother and sister would always make fun of it. It's not only that, but I HATE the rest of my body. I'm overweight, have a ugly nose, all these bumps on my body, not hairless enough, my boobs aren't perky, just everything sucks. I never believe compliments and this is what hurts the semi-relationship I have. We never met, I'm from California and he is from Norway, and just thinking of meeting him scares me so much! I dont know if you do this too, but I tend to make myself feel more ugly by looking at pictures of models and fit women. The pressure of trying to be perfect drives me nuts! It's not like I'm trying to change the way I feel about myself, it's just so hard finding the good stuff. :/

Everyone is not perfect. So don't feel bad for your nose. Keep satisfaction and confidence.

Hi Glimmer,

I hate my nose, too. It's the bane of my existence! I could easily save up some money and have rhinoplasty performed, but my biggest fear is that I will feel even worse, in that I'm showcasing someone who isn't me. I feel that every compliment I will receive will make me feel guilty because I will know that they are complimenting an altered version of me.
I think I've definitely grown a tad in regards to feeling the way I do about my looks. My opinion of my nose hasn't changed at all, and I don't think it ever will! I think that's ok, though! I'm always going to be wishing for a more "fitting" one, and I don't think it's about falling in love with every facial feature xD
I guess just accepting the way I am and realizing that everyone is so self centered, in that they are only caught up with their own image, not at all caring about anyone else's.
Not long ago, on a day of extreme nose hatred, I discovered a blog that I have now fallen in love with.
She writes about all things regarding that! When I first found her site, I got lost in her posts! I remember the plethora of tears running down my eyes, when I realized how many females battle that which I battle.
Here, she talks specifically about her getting rhinoplasty done. Feel free to look through all her posts-they're amazing:
http://www.eatthedamncake.com/2010/05/2 ... -the-nose/

Hope you find her blog of some interest!