The past 10 days had been busy... I had my birthday.. Finished 5 days of exams...
And my ex greeted me on my special day..
He said he missed me, and he loves me..
And we've been talking ever since..
I didn't say I loved him back, and he said "don't say anything.."
At first, it was a painful "I miss him lots.".. And the wounds are still fresh I really don't know why I'm talking to him still but I just missed him.
He texted and called me back..slowly got back into our usual routine.. And kept telling me he loves me..
I just loved the attention.. Especially when I feel vulnerable and lonely in a new country..
Until one evening, I asked him what happened between the two of us..
What do you mean? He asks..
And I say, "what happened to you & me together forever?"
And he tells me, "it's still on."
What?! How come I didn't know about it?
He tells me, "Well, you weren't paying attention."
Omg... Who am I talking to? WHY am I talking to this person? Who is this person I fell in and out of love with? And how the hell did he find his way back to my heart like a hypnotic gaze ?!
He claims that we never went off, that he was just silent because he gave me time to study...
And I have to admit,, I ThAANKED HIM FOR GIVING ME THE SILENCE THAT I NEEDED. Now I feel that I'm going crazy again.
And at some point where I feel attached to him again, where I was craving for his attention again... He's starting to ignore me. He's brushing off my feelings. He's ignoring text messages. He's answering my messages 30 minutes after I send it. He's blowing hot & cold on me. And I found myself chasing my tail again, and telling myself... I've been through this before. It's like watching a re-run. Only it's not as emotionally charged. I already know what's going to happen... Yet I can't let go and I know that texting him at first seems harmless... But im wasting my time and ... My dignity on him
