why does everyone hate me

my parents are....strange i guess, my grandmother is always yelling at me telling me how ungrateful i am, how no one will ever like me, its no wonder i dont have friends, im hateful, im worthless, im stupid, i dont know how to do anything, i need to loose weight (yet a few years back when i stopped eating so i could loose weight they yelled at me for being to thin), im lazy, im just like my dad [whos a horrible person] and "theres something wrong with you"
ive told her it bothers me but she says im lying and she never did anything, then she turns it around and makes it about her.

my mom never stands up for me, she just lets it happen. and if i ask her why she lets her do that to me she yells at me. she's really immature most of the time. whenever i ask her something she just yells and avoids the question. and also, the only thing she does all day is watch tv. she also only buys me fast food.

when someones over at the house they act completely different. i tried telling my aunt about it but she laughed and took my grandmothers side.

i feel like my opinipns are completely worthless. my thoughts dont matter, and i have no reason to feel the way i do because "they take such good care of me i should be more appreciative etcetc"

i also have an anxiety disorder, so whenever im in a bad mood or im upset over something they did they ask "Did you take your medicine today"

they also never let me do anything. im not allowed to have friends over. im not allowed to go to friends houses. i cant call anyone, no one can call me. im not allowed to date, im not allowed to be on social networking sites, im not allowed to have a job, im not even allowed to go outside.

they also act like i owe them something. i cant help that i was born. i didnt ask to be. its not my fault they didnt use a condom and i was the horrible mistake that came from it. they shouldnt blame me,

when i was little kids always made fun of me for like no reason. they always ganged up on me and i never had any friends, i still dont have any friends, no one cares baout me at all.

im 17 and i have been searching my whole life for a reason that would justify all this. hat is so wrong with me. do i have some sort of mental disorder? if my gma says that none of what i say ever happened, am i a pathelogical liar? i dont know.

I'm so, so sorry about what everyone in your family are putting you through hun it sounds like the problem really isn't you - it's them.

I realize that at your young age it's almost unreasonable to say something like "you should get away from them as fast as possible" because at this point you're still very much financially and even emotionally dependant on them... all I can say is that I hope you manage to get away from that sick environment as soon as it will be possible (after 18 and high school) and get yourself some true friends in the outside world (friends aren't the same as family but they can be far, far better when your own family sucks like that).

Please try to remember that there is nothing wrong with you and be strong... someday you'll be able to make it out of there, start building yourself up and things should get gradually better from you from there on... the teenage years are often rock bottom but it will get better from now on if you believe in yourself and work on yourself.

P.S.I think that in your case there would be nothing wrong with a little teenage rebellion and a few secrets (like getting some friends of your own) but be careful not to do anything that you might regret later on in life.

I am anonamoose but i forgot my password lol. anyway, since i wrote the first post things have been the same. Yesterday i was watching a movie and my grandmother wanted me to take the trash out. I said I will when this goes on commercial. But she started huffing and mumbling under her breathe so i got up and snatched it off the door and as i did this i dropped a cup. She went ballistic and I told her she needed to calm down and she told me none of this would have happened if i wasnt so lazy and sloppy. t o which i replied "well youre the one who cant take the trash out youself" which i got in trouble for because to her this was "hurtful" so i came back in and she was like dont ever talk to me like that again and she threated to hit me so i went to my moms room and cried cuz she always makes me cry and then i wouldnt eat dinner bc i was depressed bc she makes me feel worthless and then today she brought it up again and said it was my fault and she has the right to get mad @ me and that she didnt do anything wrong but i did and i should do whatever she says as soon as she says it and idk its just getting worse like it was fine for a while but its getting worse and its driving me crazy and im all suicidal again and i just cant take it and it really makes me upset when she belittles the neighbors just because they are black. like you dontk now how much that bothers me and i tell her to stop and shes like I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT I DONT HAVE TO STOP. shes just like her brothers and she thinks shes just this wonderful Christin but shes not. and i know its not my place to judge and im not suppose to judge but she just says she is so people will like her. and she always tells me im lazy and i dont do anything but whenever i try i get yelled at because i dont do it up to her standards like i tried to wash the clothes and $#%^ but she didnt like the way i did it. and my mom said she knows shes abusive but she refuses to stand up for me and shell take my gmas side if shes in the room so she wont get yelled at. and i just feel like i dont matter have the time and theres no hope for me because im trash.and the other day i was laughing at something ansd she yelled at me for laughing bc evidently im not allowed to do that anymore. she also always yells at me for not helping out around the house, but when i try too she yells at me because i dont do it up to her standards. for example she called me a "stupid nword" for not putting the rags in the right order in the closet. what do i do!? this is abuse isnt it?

and the other day i was laughing at something ansd she yelled at me for laughing bc evidently im not allowed to do that anymore. she also always yells at me for not helping out around the house, but when i try too she yells at me because i dont do it up to her standards. for example she called me a "stupid nword" for not putting the rags in the right order in the closet. what do i do!? this is abuse isnt it?

I know how you feel, my mother hated it if I laughed or even smiled she'd say something like "Why have you got that stupid look on your face".
Mine called me 'lazy' but when I tried to help out it was never right.
Yes it is abuse, emotional abuse and It can be very hurtful. As the previous poster mentioned it will be a good idea to leave home and get away as soon as you can.
Sorry you have to put up with this s##t.

Greatexpectations wrote:

and the other day i was laughing at something ansd she yelled at me for laughing bc evidently im not allowed to do that anymore. she also always yells at me for not helping out around the house, but when i try too she yells at me because i dont do it up to her standards. for example she called me a "stupid nword" for not putting the rags in the right order in the closet. what do i do!? this is abuse isnt it?

I know how you feel, my mother hated it if I laughed or even smiled she'd say something like "Why have you got that stupid look on your face".
Mine called me 'lazy' but when I tried to help out it was never right.
Yes it is abuse, emotional abuse and It can be very hurtful. As the previous poster mentioned it will be a good idea to leave home and get away as soon as you can.
Sorry you have to put up with this s##t.

what bothers me the most is that my mom and i have to do EVERYTHING for her because she refuses and she has the gall to call me lazy. it just makes me really angry and i dont understand what her problem is

bewp wrote:what bothers me the most is that my mom and i have to do EVERYTHING for her because she refuses and she has the gall to call me lazy. it just makes me really angry and i dont understand what her problem is

it sounds to me like she's just a very bitter, angry and unhappy person who is too angry to do anything other than blame absolutely everything on everyone around her. such deep unhappiness would also "explain" why she would get mad at you for expressing happiness via laughing. I know this won't make dealing with her any easier, but take comfort in the fact that this is clearly her own very deep-rooted issue that has her filled with constant anger and bitterness, and has nothing to do with you. you just happen to be the closest person to her so she victimizes you out of convenience.

I hope you're able to get out of this situation in the near future.

Hun, you said "they also never let me do anything. im not allowed to have friends over. im not allowed to go to friends houses. i cant call anyone, no one can call me. im not allowed to date, im not allowed to be on social networking sites, im not allowed to have a job, im not even allowed to go outside."

This is more than verbal and emotional abuse, which is bad enough. They are also isolating you, and in effect keeping you a prisoner. Please contact your nearest Social Services or Womens Aid, who may be able to help you, and to keep you safe.

The effects of the abuse are wearing you down emotionally, and you don't deserve this. You deserve to be heard, respected, listened to and shown love and affection. None of this is in any way your fault. In another post you said "they also never let me do anything. im not allowed to have friends over. im not allowed to go to friends houses. i cant call anyone, no one can call me. im not allowed to date, im not allowed to be on social networking sites, im not allowed to have a job, im not even allowed to go outside." unquote

This is real abuse hun, and it's having a major impact upon your emotional wellbeing. You need help in dealing with this. It's not something you should have to deal with on your own. If you feel suicidal again, you MUST tell someone, and if it's really urgent dial the emergency services. Are you in high school? Is there a teacher or school counsellor you could talk to? You need to emphasize to them the seriousness of the situation, and tell them exactly how this has made you feel, and the fact that you have been feeling suicidal. If you are not listened to, keep talking to someone else until you are heard and taken seriously.

You are a worthy, loveable person, with a lot of value, and you don't deserve to be treated this way. Please PM me or one of the other moderators on here if you need to talk. I wish you well, hun.