a lot of worry and questions

The reason I came looking for a forum is because I feel so confused. My Father, a functioning alcoholic, is emotionally abusive, and when he got kicked out by my Mother, he was replaced by a Nazi obsessed step-father, who is one of the stealth abusers, using subtle psychological power and control techniques and abusing my right to express my needs openly, he is a total stone walled control freak and he really messed with my head. My Mother is a drinker and is denial about everything. My partner knows all this, all the grief they've caused, and yet he behaves just like them to me and masterfully deflects it all.He convinces me, just like them, that its me thats a problem. I cant go to my Mother because its like the frying pan into the fire, I'm bouncing from one bad situ to another. One minute I feel like leaving the country and writing everyone off, starting again, the next I feel like I must be causing this somehow.

I keep wondering what is wrong with me, how did I do this to myself by ending up with him, and how can I be like my Mother and ignore it and stay. I feel tricked into believing this man actually loves me, how did I think that when he can switch from nice to nasty in split second and make me feel absolutely worthless, ugly and useless. I feel so trapped.

Sweetie, I'm having a lot of the same feelings, as you can see in my thread below. I thought I had my boundaries written in stone when my husband and I first got married, and slowly but surely it's all been chipped away, and I allowed it to. I hope someone with more experience in this can help us both, because I know how miserable it makes you when you can't figure out if it's really you that's the problem or these other people. I don't have any advice since I'm in a similar situation, but I'm sending lots of hugs your way.