HELP im confused and need advise

Hi im new here, im married and well im not sure if i am being verbaly abused by my wife or not can i just show u what today has been like , this happened today and happens most days..am i being abused ? i feel very ashamed doing this ..

i came in jo was ok then wouldnt phone cat woman again ans said its my fault if our daughter didnt get a kitten ... she was sad in the car on the way back from work , in the lounge was saying about living in the here and now
all she can see is mess and jobs then went on
to say i had not done anything and then told me to do homework with the kids so i did , then she went on and started shouting about nothing had
been done then i tried to say i had only 1 hour at home today as i didnt get back untill 1,30 then she said i was like her mum then said how
usless i was in front of the kids then told shannon
not to basically marry a man like me and to marry a man with money etc , then i triedremind her she said just to do washing so i did and mopped the floor and swepped ,cleaned sides etc she said i didnt and
if i did it was a pathetic job and i should not have bothered and i did nothing all in front of the kids ,
then she was saying in front of kids lewis my 10 yr old kid was better and more than a man than me and told me he was doing my jobs and
also he was the only one who ever helped her and how i didnt and told me to thank lewis for doing my jobs in front of kids,
she shouted in and at my face in front of the kids saying how lewis did my jobs and how usless i was i tried again to tell her i only had 1 hour as i took her to work and i was feeling very ill all day
cleaned what i could did 3 loads of cloths washing ate lunch got kids , drove to pick her up she said i was usless and didnt do
anything , i said i did she replyed bollox u have done nothing as usual , and again made me out to be useless and said as usual i did nothing
and then how nlp does not work "its what im studying" and to find somthing else as i was no different, everytime i tried to talk to her she shouted me down by saying nasty
horrable hurtfull things and every time i tried to talk she got worse , i felt useless hurt ashamed angry sad confused tearfull very very down, shaking
, stressed frustrated the feeling of being alone and hated so much by jo

then i went upsatirs crying i could not listen to how crap and usless she said i was and saying it
in front of the kids and how lewis was better than me and how i did nothing and to thank lewis
and never helped and how crap and a waste of space i was.and that i was bacically a pile of $#%^ . well that was my day today with jo . tue 28th sep

all this made me feel so so so so so low so so so down upset and usless and frustrated and i actually beleave everything she said about me
i must be like she says and something changed in me today all my drive self respect happyness and me vanished im not sure if it
will ever come back ...maybe i have heard to much about how $#%^ and usless i am its sunk in and in my eyes i beleave it .you can only hear so much
about how $#%^ u are befor u beleave it ................................

Hey dude.

I know that this thread is about your problem, but it's evident that it's your wife who has the real problem here. None of this is your fault. Whatever it is that she has, it's affecting you and your family, and i'd argue it's tearing you all apart. The children are young and I doubt that they understand what is going on. They see mum and dad arguing with each other and do not know who to trust. I'd like to tell you to fight back, but I'm not sure if that would work in this case. I think that the crux of the matter is the source of your wife's problem. Figure out what that is, and you'll understand much more.

Por ejemplo (for example), is it that she is just unhappy with the marriage? I mean, has she 'fallen out of love' with you? Alternatively, is she depressed over something that happened recently? Maybe she has had problems at work or is worried about something. Sometimes, worry can appear on the surface of the person as anger - strange but true.

Kevin

Hi and thanks for taking the time to read and reply to my post ...

Well she has issues with her past and they never ever get solved as she does not want to and thinks she does not have to ..
One min she is over over nice the next down the next so so so angy moody saying hurtfull things to me then when she sees that im upset she walks around the house singing and wistleing and smiling laughing and im left feeling like i do ... im begining to think how can she love me >>????

dont get me wrong im not saying im perfect nobody is but ...... well i could never treat her the way she treats me ..
tonight she has been singing etc she knows how much im hurt but just leaves me sat on the chair and does not care at all..

one time i was sat in the garden untill 5am upset and did she come see me no ...im so confused ..

I'm sorry to hear that. So, she has tried to get help previously but nothing positive ever materialised from it? These are truly the most difficult situations - i.e. where the person has had help previously - but nothing came from it - and now they don't believe they need to go back. One must wonder where she feels her life is actually taking her. My approach - if I was in your situation - would be to ignore her when she's in her moods by not even reacting to anything she says (and not even responding). That's not ever going to solve much though.

Does she have friends? Maybe using them to get through to her is an option.

Kevin