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Worthless Dad

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Worthless Dad

Postby standarsh17 » Thu Sep 02, 2010 2:34 pm

Hey all this is my first time at this forum I wanted to post this somewhere else but couldn't I needed to ask about something I currently have a 70 year old father not really fragile more of a hard worker and passive tough guy he has ocpd and psychotic behaviour alot of which is triggered when gambling, today I got another ridiculous outburst where my mother had gambled away a minor $20 and this set him off big time! the worst part is the hypocrytical aspect where he himself gambles away $500 or more, I just don't get it, how can someone be so ignorant? The really bad part of this is when he acts like there is nothing wrong and fine the next day.

This doesn't really affect me much as I respond to him in a calm manner but it really does affect my mother alot who is fragile at the moment and also has cancer I myself also have ocd and have always blamed him for his weak genes as my mother was strong in her prime he passed his mental disorder to me but luckily my mothers english, educated passive side is what keeps me cool and calm even though ocd is the worse especially when I had it before. No one in my family knows about my ocd as I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone especially my dad which makes the situation really stressful when he's in a psychotic and verbal rage against people mostly out of context this gets to me aswell as my ocd has left me alone in life and I don't want to live with my father but on the other hand I have nowhere to go.

The twist is my father is also a hoarder and has close to $2,000,000 tied up in stocks but because of his ocpd and always demanding people work hard but with no progression he spends little on himself and us, he FREAKS when money is mentioned as he doesn't want to spend anything but at the same time he has no plan in life and has poorly planned out his future, he'll die without getting to do what he wants in life something I'm trying to avoid. I don't know what he wants in life either or how I should feel about that also if I ever get the will which is only a maybe I'll probably still be alone with no one to be with or support which is a misery in itslef on the other hand I decided I'm going to be my fathers exact opposite and end this cupidity by going on a spending spree and giving to those who need it who are real, if I ever get it that is but I can't touch it also in a divorce my mother would get nothing. He brings so much negative energy we would be happier without him and I would be happier as a normal person with a normal life, It's just so goddamn ridiculous because he has so much and does nothing with it anything luxurious for himself or others makes him so mad that's why we have nothing. He's really ruined everything in our life my friends, my education our house among other things, he's been keeping the fact that he's a millionaire away from us for a long time and I only found out two years ago by his trading account. It's just really really really frustrating thinkng about the life I could have had so long ago and now it's too late as my illness makes money worthless. I'm lonely depressed, my mum has cancer and doesn't act like it and my dads a psychotic loser who started my problems since conception. We could have so much but it' might be too late and without him we have no money but we don't anyway and it may not be worth it.
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Re: Worthless Dad

Postby jasmin » Tue Sep 07, 2010 6:42 pm

Hi, standarsh17! Your life isn't over and you understand the situation that you're in. You might not have much, but you have yourself. Maybe you could find a support group for people with OCD so you'd have others like you to spend time with. You're right, your father is being so unfair to his family.. It's not your fault and your mom is lucky to have you.
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