Am I an Emotional and/or verbal abuser

Hello,

I wanted to get an outside opinion on my issue. Please excuse any grammatical errors.

Here's my story.. I have been with the same woman for ten + years and of those ten years 3 of them we have been married. I will admit we have had some rocky roads. When we argue I call names and try to hurt her feelings because I believe she is trying to hurt mine. I have called her the "B" word and have exploited some of her flaws. I have called her a worthless b and other names I should not have. When we stop arguing and we both calm down I usually apologize and everything goes back to normal until the next time we argue. When we are good I always say she is beautiful, I am lucky and try to give her everything she wants. I never tell her no and work hard to try to keep her happy. Do you think I am emotionally and/or verbally abusive?

To add to this.. We are now getting a divorce. I really cant blame her because she tried to work with me even though she had started to fall in love with another man. I have an appointment to see a psychologist to see if he can help me so that I don't take this to my next relationship. I guess if I am this monster I realize it and have taken it upon myself to get the help I need. I am still sad because I am the reason why I don't have my wife anymore. To anybody who reads this.. Emotional and Verbal abuse is REAL it is sometimes hard to see yourself as the abuser, Be smarter than me and get the help you need before its to late...

Thanks for listening