i just cant take this anymore!

im so sick of my mom, and i think the reason for my brothers suicide was because of her.
that was harsh but i dont give a ###$, she deserves it. if you knew her, you'd think so too.
for an example today we went to my other sibling's house and she said the exact opposite
of what i was saying, so it was kind of like she WANTED a fight. so of corse me, i said some
things then she "stormed" off outside, so i went out there too and she started to scream at
me. she said things like i was an embarassment to her. and that i was ugly as ###$. man
even one time she said she wished i was dead!!!!! blahh. i dont give a ###$ anymore. right
now i actually wish i was gone instead of daniel!!!! i think shes retarded or something cause
when we got back to the house, she tried to talk to me like nothings wrong. LIKE WTF she
just yelled at me.. and whenever me and her get into a fight, it was daniel who would always
come into my room and hug me, stick up for me and just comfort me when im crying. now
hes gone, so i dont got anyone!! this ######6 sucks. plus i wish i could go to the docters.. i
mean theres no problem going, but im scared. i dont know what to sayy.. or anything. im sick
of crying every single dayy and im especially sick of life! and i dont know why.. whenever shes
mad.. she picks on me!! ALWAYS. even her at the time boyfriend, told her to calm down and
he even was sticking up for me! plus when i was young.. i had my first suicide attempt. i had
cut my wrists really bad.. she caught me and we went to the hospital.. i said i slipped so they
believed me and then when we got home, she sent me to my sisters. and that was it. she
didnt say " ohh im here for you " nothing like that. its like im the black sheep of the family.i
dont know what to do. im just counting the days til i die, i hope she knows shes killing me.
today she even had a knife with her and told me if she could kill me and get away with it she
would. and aftershe said that i said " good you'll be doing me a favor" then shes like i wish
daniel was here instead of you... so what should i do?

((((((((((dyingtolive)))))))))) It sounds like your mother is very cruel to you. I'm sorry about your brother's suicide. You don't have to die to get away from this. You can try to make a life for yourself. You are angry with her and you know that what she does is wrong and, believe it or not, that is very good. She can't emotionally blackmail you into staying with her or anything like that. You have this place now and you can talk here any time you feel like it.
How old are you? Getting away from her would probably be the best solution.

dyingtolive sweet-heart you really do "need" to get away from this woman she is tareing you apart and the thing's she is doing to you will not leave judgement day when she has to answer for all of what has been done to you and your brother, i wouldent evan call her mother anymore... jasmin is right, your emotion's are your's to protect in any way that you can & this woman claiming to be your mother has no right to "emotionaly blackmail" you and evan threatining your life.. get help from someone besides your abuser dyingtolive and who give's a flip if she claim's to own you (you own you). Keep in touch if you want i've got an instent messenger and this privet messegeing thingy on here, hug's n kissis..

I strongly urge you to report her to the authorities. Is there a counsellor or someone you can trust? A teacher, a friend, a relative. Someone else needs to know about her threats of murdering you. This is really serious. I don't believe the hospital believed you for one minute....they were probably powerless to do anything unless you had been able to speak up.

I'd hate for you to have to keep on dealing with this all on your own. You have a number of issues going on, one of the least getting grief counselling over the death of your brother.

Please, I do urge you passionately, to reach out and get some help, any which way you can. All of this is too much for you to bear on your own.

how old aare you? maybe you should just move out... if your not old enough...you should avoid as much as possible

hang in there sweetheart