What should i do?

My dad is dumb-****!!! Hes the most screwed up person iver ever heard of. My mom is the most clingy, insecure back-boneless fluff of a person ever.. she says there isnt a problem, yet is miserable and doesnt do anything has no friends, wants to die. A dumb-****. My father only cares about himself and makes life into a screwed up miserable sadistic game for all of us that revolves around himself. I want him dead, because of what he is like.. And what he has done and takes no responsibility.. AS A GAME, A JOKE!!

Everything will be fine for a couple of days and i will be fine, happy that there are no problems.. then he will come out of his room after being in there all day acting like he has been feeling severely sorry for himself (nothing even happened??!!?) And he is acting like he is pissed and hates his family, and he starts tearing us down.. what a dick.. we didnt even do anything to this ******.. We dont have anything more than he does.. he is ****ting all over us for nothing, we are worse.

Ive tried for a few years now to get out of the house. on and off. Ive tried to talk about it to my mom many many times. when ever i say the slightest thing to him, he wants to fight.

I would like to think he fits these descriptions.. he does, but he is worse:

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abus ... _abuse.htm
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domesti ... ffects.htm

He is ALOT more like this, infact he fits it to a tee: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissocial_ ... y_disorder
He has been in trouble with the law but managed, as screwed up as he is to avoid it, mostly.


What bothers me the most is that i cant seem to be transparent to it. Whenever it happens, it makes me crazy.. i cant control it. I am usually pretty mellow. And for the past 3 years ive basically dedicated all my energy to trying to be invincible to this, unafected by it.. i dont feel sorry for myself at all, im way past that.. i seriously just want nothing to do with it. It seems like there is a complex here that is dependant on me being involved in it. He seems like he deliberately has to have me in pain to be able to fullfill some sick complex. I have tried almost everything, not just reacting, ive really intelligently and thoughtfully tried to find every way out of this, to have nothing to do with it.

It seems like he has to be hurting you because of some extremely sick twisted sadistic complex.. without him i am totally fine. Whenever i start doing something that would make me independant of this crap thats when he flares up, BAD. Last night i mentioned i was going to start excercising again because i drank to much. I used to do weightlifting and it made him crazy.. he was always saying that i needed to eat junk food and i wasnt healthy.. it was good for me. He used to throw my vitamins away and try to get me to drink. I knew it was wrong, i just dont know what to do its makeing me crazy. Whenever i have a good selfesteem, cause something good happened that day he SYSTEMATICALLY tears me down when he notices it.

It is really causing me severe functionality problems at my job etc.. It seems like he wants to kill me. I dont know what to do.. Should i go into homelessness?

He's a massive alcoholic.. he has no responsibility. he has never taken any responsibility for anything he has done.. he defends it.. he acts like hes a worshiped god. He has no empathy or awareness of other peoples emotions or hurt at all.. just like a real psychopath with dissocial personality disorder. I just dont understand how anyone can be like this and have no awareness of it. Its tearing me up.. im almost homeless and am 100 percent sure that its because of this.

What causes it all is his ego and severe misunderstanding of the rest of the world and people. He is severely anti-social.. never had any real relations with people.. its crazy.. so he thinks he is the only one who is bad off and everyone else is in bliss.. he treats people that havent done anything to him, that dont anything more than him and arent happy like he thinks with severe hostility/jealousy.. and anger. He tries to bring them down to what he thinks is his level not realizing that they dont have what he thinks.. he does what ever he can to tear them down.. and he doesnt even realize what he is doing.. he is a heartless compassionless dissocial personality disorder. A psychopath that wants to kill/do harm to everyone and everything because he thinks they are heartless and dont care about his suffering when he is just unaware that they dont have it like he thinks.. infact alot of the times worse.

Alot more has happened then i talked about, physical fist fights that i get blamed with.. i have put my whole being into getting out of this.. for 3 years straight that it has been happening really bad. I used to be alot different of a person. Whenever i am not even mentally involved (ignore) it and dont get messed up the guy goes literally crazy and is all over me with anger trying to get me back into his horse crap mold.

Its destroyed my life, i know no one.. i have no where to go.. my family doesnt see how serious it is but they hurting bad, they are like in a vegetable state. I have nowhere to go.. what should i do?

Hi Sam,

I can see you have so much going on with your family. I think your doing remarkable well. I think your very courageous and resilient to have gone through all that you have and to be able to be an understanding rational person who has tried many different ways of coping with what is an intolerable situation for you.

I can see that your angry and frustrated and you want something done about the situation.

If your father is physically violent or verbally abusive in the household, even throwing things around the house that is a crime. You can call the police and they can have him charged. He might be put in lock up and you will be issued with apprehended violence order and he is not allowed to come near you or the family. That way he has to leave the house.

Do you have a safety plan for when your father becomes abusive. A safe place to go to where you can't be hurt. I see that you have looked up domestic violence info links. You can call a crisis line also and speak to a domestic violence support person who can help you. People often don't realize that domestic violence involves more than just women who live in the house. They will be able to provide you with support persons to assist you.

It's sad and frustrating that your mom won't see there is a problem. You don't have to put up with it.

Is there someone at work that you feel comfortable confiding in that might be able to support you.

I know how hard it can be but don't let you parent destroy the things that are important to you.

Make a plan. Remember violence and abuse is a crime, the police can help you. Ring a domestic violence support line and ask for help. It's not just for women they can provide you will support and any referrals that you need.

You need to be in stable home situation so that you can save money and eventually have your own place. Don't give up, you can do it, others have been in your situation and come through it.

It's big step to take and kind of scary but it's worth it in the end.

Good luck with it all and come back if you want to talk some more.

Here are some support services to call and what to do in a crisis.

For emergency help: Call 911 if you are in immediate danger of domestic violence or have already been hurt.

For advice and support: Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE). Additional contacts for the hotline:

Help through email: ndvh@ndvh.org

Help for the hearing-impaired: 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) or deafhelp@ndvh.org

For a safe place to stay: Call your state’s branch of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence if you need a shelter from domestic violence. To find your state’s hotline number, go to the State Coalition List.