I think I may be verbally abusive

I think I may be verbally abusive to my family. I was talking to my therapist and I was telling her about an incident that happened last week. I was out at a basketball game and my daughter forgot to put the top on her soda and it spilled all over me well I got mad and let out a short but mean string of words. Right away she started crying so I called her a baby and told her to go away. My therapist asked me why I felt the need to resort to name calling and the truth is that is how I always react. I have always reacted that way since I was a kid.

Do you have any good ways to stop this kind of behavior? I guess the first step is just becoming aware that this is a problem. But I’m not really sure what the next step is. Any suggestions would be helpful.

First of all I must say it is nice to see you admit that there is a problem with the way you handle situations that produce anger within you. Do you only resort to name calling when you’re angry or is it something that you constantly do despite your current mood?
You said that..

My therapist asked me why I felt the need to resort to name calling and the truth is that is how I always react. I have always reacted that way since I was a kid

You recognize that this is a pattern, does this come from the way you were treated as a child? Maybe it is due to something you saw in your household when you were a kid. Nevertheless, it is great that you are seeing a therapist. They can help you to understand what is the underlying cause of your need to lash out using abusive words.

You really seem to know what the next step is, talk to your therapist. Tell him/her of your concerns and take it from there. In the meantime, when something happens that really gets at you, try to take a deep breath and walk away. Think of how hurt your daughter was when you yelled at her, remember that you’re the adult, you love your child and walk away until you are able to deal with the situation. I’m a quick tempered person, I can say that this is hard to do, but it helps. I’ve also just screamed instead of said words that I’m afraid may hurt my children… the result? I'm able to get the emotion out. Then.. they look at me.. I look at them.. and we laugh because of how ridiculous I must have looked shrieking like a banshee.

Please let me know how things turn out for you!

Do you only resort to name calling when you’re angry or is it something that you constantly do despite your current mood?
Not really I give nicknames for my wife and daughter like pumpkin and honey but I don’t really call them bad names for no reason it is usually only when I am angry or frustrated.

You recognize that this is a pattern; does this come from the way you were treated as a child?
Yes I think so; I was constantly called names by my father regardless of the situation. I wasn’t usually called curse words it was more like stupid, retarded, #######1 those types of things. That’s weird I try so hard not to be like my father in all other ways I guess I just never noticed I was turning in to him.

So you think talking to my therapist about this is the best way to stop doing this well that I can do. I already do the just yelling no words, but it is usually done more in jest than anything else. Perhaps I can modify it to when I am truly angry.
I will give that a try thanks for the help