Don't know how to cope...

well I have no idea what to do and I hate myself for crying infront of them... My dad calls me so many horrible things/says horrible things (for years). I've been sick the last week and he keeps yelling and saying he 'hates my guts' and various ways to get rid of me that I don't really want to repeat.... My mom doesn't help she just watches and then when I try to defend my self she lashes out at me...I always end up crying and then my sister starts laughing and siding with dad so that doesn't help...I really need advice on how to cope I don't want them to see me crying when they do that I don't want to give them the satisfaction of it...

Thing is he's always nicer the next day and then would blow again... Any advice???

Hi, silentpain! The way your family are treating you is awful. Your dad has no right to say those things to you and your mom and sister should help you, not bully you. You can always post here about it and vent a little. You could try to be cold to them even when they're nice and maybe that way the verbal abuse won't come as such a shock the next time it happens.
It doesn't feel so good to become distant, but you have to protect yourself. Can you leave the room when it's happening? How old are you? Yelling that when you leave it will be for ever and they won't see you again might work. Tell them they'll get their wish and stand up to them using this.

jasmin wrote:Hi, silentpain! The way your family are treating you is awful. Your dad has no right to say those things to you and your mom and sister should help you, not bully you. You can always post here about it and vent a little. You could try to be cold to them even when they're nice and maybe that way the verbal abuse won't come as such a shock the next time it happens.
It doesn't feel so good to become distant, but you have to protect yourself. Can you leave the room when it's happening? How old are you? Yelling that when you leave it will be for ever and they won't see you again might work. Tell them they'll get their wish and stand up to them using this.

thank you for posting...I'll see how distancing myself works out...
well i'm 16 at the moment and whenever I leave the room they follow me...

That sucks. I don't mean to make you feel weird, it's just that being distant sort of worked for me and I managed to keep my parents off my back more when I was about your age.
You won't have to put up with them for much longer. You'll be able to get away soon and make your own life.

silent pain,

Some of the things that helped me tune my parents out when they were like that was reading. Anything and evrything, I was able to disconnect from myself and relax it didn't always help but sometimes it did. I also got some satisfaction out of knowing that I was better educated than my dad. After a "discussion" with him, he would eventually tell me taht he just wanted me to be beeter than him. I never had to point it out to him but I know and he knows that I am.