feel like a fraud cos abuse hurts so bad

am so angry with myself. the abuse i went through wasn't as bad as some people's yet i am still in agony over it. i was repeatedly told that i must be overreacting to verbal abuse from my father, and i have tried to tell myself that i'm an attention-seeking drama queen, but the hurt doesn't go away.


i suffered with BPD (borderline personality disorder) for most of my life, my symptoms are stabilising, but i still feel all this anger and confusion.

people tell me to move on. my abuse wasn't a big deal enough to grieve over, yet i still do. i don't think am just looking for attention, though. i think it does hurt . i don't cut myself anymore, but i sometimes fear i wll relapse and do something bad because am angry with myself.

Hi, MelonBall! Of course you're not just looking for attention. Verbal abuse can be very hurtful, especially coming from your father and you have every right to feel the way you do. It can mess with your self esteem and sense of security.
You have no reason to be angry with yourself and this is not your fault.

hii

Angry on oneself it is not good thing rather than angry over others.
We can understand your problem. You are saying that you can't tolerate any sort of abuse from your father. Yes it is obvious. Look just dont concentrate on your pain, but try to think how can you stop this by time.

MelonBall wrote:am so angry with myself. the abuse i went through wasn't as bad as some people's yet i am still in agony over it. i was repeatedly told that i must be overreacting to verbal abuse from my father, and i have tried to tell myself that i'm an attention-seeking drama queen, but the hurt doesn't go away.

people tell me to move on. my abuse wasn't a big deal enough to grieve over, yet i still do. i don't think am just looking for attention, though. i think it does hurt . i don't cut myself anymore, but i sometimes fear i wll relapse and do something bad because am angry with myself.

Never say that it wasn't as bad, because other's have been through worse.

There is always someone whose going to have it worse then you, or not as bad as you have had it, none the less it affected you... you are not an attention-skeeking drama queen.

The hurt will go away, it is something however that does not happen quickly... I've been told to move on etc too, ignore those who tell you that. No one can understand the affects of abuse unless they've gone through it themselves...