Finding Help for A friend

I have watched a close friend deal with verbal abuse from what I see as a clinically depressed mother for nearly 3 years now. I have tried my best to be there for her, and to help her out of this. This relationship with her mother has produced self injury, which I believe she has overcome. But I'm still watching her mother relentlessly tear up old scars. For example, she called my friend at work today, and when My friend answered the phone she started off with "Do you know why Im mad at you today?" My friend had left before her mother had even woke up that morning.

It is a constant degrading conversation, that seems to go in cycles, to the point where I can tell that My Friend no longer knows her own thoughts or feelings. She says that everything her mother says seems "true". But its not. Its just never good enough for her mother, even though her daughter is going to be announced Sal or Valedictorian in the upcoming school year at a private high school.

Her mother and father have been divorced ever since my friend was young. I don't know the details, but I know it was ugly. She is able to see her father every other weekend, one weekday, and some holidays. Which in Michigan leads me to believe that he doesn't have joint custody. So I don't even know if living at his house is an option. She is 17, and if anyone knows what that means in the custody system please let me know.

This abuse needs to stop before she breaks again. I sent her a long message begging her to leave, or if not then to do something. This is not healthy. And it is hurting her. She knows that my house is open. But I don't know what to do anymore. I've supported her, but now her mother has refused to let me talk to her or see her. So she calls when she can. I don't know if this is even the right place for me to put this post. But I don't know what to do. Is leaving home an option for her? I dont' know if it would even mater, because I think she thinks that she s afraid to leave. She's such a brilliant young woman, and she needs out. Please, if anyone has any ideas... I could sure use them.

Hi, friendofanangel! What your friend's mother is doing to her is wrong. It is verbal abuse and your friend is lucky that you want to help.
I think that when a parent or someone you love and depend on treats you like this, it becomes a part of you. It's like being near them or putting up with what they do is an addiction. She might have post traumatic stress disorder because of the constant abuse. People may not realise it, but verbal abuse can have a huge effect on somebody.
She probably still loves her mother and she may not want to leave her alone. I'm not sure, but I think she can leave at this age. You could talk to her about it when you can, and do what you can to get her to come stay with you when she is feeling braver than usual. You could also try to get her talking about why she's scared to leave and how she feels. It might help her put things in perspective and realise that she can't go on like this.
Maybe she can talk with a counselor at school and ask them if it's legal for her to leave her mother.

Do what you can to get on terms with some type of authority about it..

Tell her to fight it out until shes 18 and then take her in.. if you truly understand what she goes through.. one year if you know you are in the light isnt too bad. And cut all contact altogether with her mother/heartless psychopath.