very strange things happening in my house

A lot has happened since my last post & despite my partner saying she has never been unfaithful I have noticed several itchy small red dots on my genitals, one is a little larger & darker in colour. I believe her intention all along has been to psychologically control me and I was warned by someone in the beginning that she can't and will never love me because shes incapable, but she tells me she does. For 8 years she has been saying (about everything) 'its all in your head' and one night in bed I woke up to hear her whispering it in my ear.

My daughter told me something very worrying earlier today. I had gone into my bedroom and my partner had left her underwear on the floor, it was black with what looked like dirt and it had a very strong foul smell to it. When I was in there our 1 daughter woke up crying so I went to see to her and she had exactly the same smell all over her. Our other daughter kept getting up out of bed & messing about & when I asked her why she was being naughty she said 'I'm waiting for mummy' I said 'why, does mummy come in here when ur asleep?' Shen then replied with 'sshhh! don't tell, only tell mummy' I said to her 'only tell mummy what?' and she smiled and looked away with embarassment.

I am extremely worried about this, as you can imagine, especially with the very strange smell which I have also noticed in our bedroom when I come home late at night. It all seems very strange and there are several things which are making me suspicious. I told her I will not respond to her mind games any more and she said 'well theres no relationship then' I think they may be something untoward going on and I really need to get this cleared up.

Hey,

I'm sorry that I cannot shed any light on the mysteries in your household but do you think that she is trying to get you to end-it with her? Some people don't want to be the one to end a relationship because they are scared to. This type of person will then just act in a very 'cold' manner and treat their partner like crap until they (their partner (i.e. - you)) finally lose patience and end it.

Another question you should ask yourself is: Do you really deserve this treatment? Obviously, you don't, but then you have to ask yourself another question: Are you going to let her abuse you forever? You only get one chance at life - We should never ne afraid of making big decisions, especially when they are the right decisions.

Kevin

Take the children to a clinic or hospital straight away. When these things happen you need to take them in and have them examined. Even if your partner is not doing anything wrong. This is not normal for any child under 10. This could be an infection. Also, if they suspect anything going on with them physically, then you can get them to talk about it. Hopefully get some type of evidence against your partner. This will give you the upper hand. Take control of the situation. Do it now.

Please take your kids to see a doctor, desperatedan, you are all they have. Your partner might be abusing them. Don't think any less of what she's doing becouse she is a woman. Take them to a clinic like Misvenus suggested.

to begin with the children are very safe and loved and cared for i am responding to this because i will not allow anyone to believe i am abusing our children and if my partner thought for one second that i was i would be eternally greatful to him if he were to take the children to a doctor my partner knows there is nothing untoward going on where our children are concerned i have tried my hardest to not let them see us argue and my partner knows this and i have told him many many times in the past that i will not argue in front of them. however children are not stupid and can sense that we were not getting on and since my partner has moved out they have been alot more contented i am not for one minute saying that my partner would hurt them or abuse them because i know he wouldn't and he knows that i would never hurt them either. it is very hurtful to read that he thinks i could. i have expressed my feelings to him that i would never stop him seeing the children he is always welcome whenever he wants to come and see them he loves our children as do i and they love him dearly too. i am writting on this site myself because i don't think it is fair for you all to be reading his posts and think what you do bout me so im putting my side in too i have not had an affair with my friend or anyone else for that matter i have been totally faithful to my partner in the 8 years we have been together weather he believes me or not, i know that i have not been unfaithful to him. it seems that no matter what i say or do he has no trust in me all his past relationships he has told me they have cheated on him but does that mean that i am or ever would? since we have split up i have come to realise that i love him more than i realised when we were together i have expressed my feeling to him but that seems to wrong too what do i do in this situation if i just let him go and not tell him how i feel about him he would have thought that he was right and that i was having an affair and that i didn't care or love him in the first place. so the way i see it either way i am the one in the wrong?????

I want to know how I caught crabs/pubic lice??? She says I didn't catch them from her but I haven't slept with anyone else and I never use public toilets.

I have also left now because I was sick of the emotional abuse, ie 'if you don't like it get out' every time I tried to have a say in anything, 'it's all in your head' every time she wanted to get away with something.

It got to the point where in the end I was sat in the house thinking to myself 'is it really all in my head? Are my children real or did I just think them up?' I had no choice but to leave.

As soon as I left she started acting like she should have done when we were together. I know I had become depressed and may have become verbally abusive myself, but mainly because I had tried for 8 years to discuss our problems with her but none of them ever got sorted out, she just refused to listen or talk with me.

An insightful moment for me was when the friend of ours who I'd had suspicions about said to her nephew in fron of me 'I'm doing her right under his nose, he'll never figure it out, she's a narcissist ain't she' and her nephew told him to be careful. She swears that they weren't talking about us but after looking up her behaviour I have always come back to NPD and it just seems way too much of a coincidence. I also can't see how he would have just have been trying to wind me up, as I hadn't mentioned my suspicions to anybody at that time.

How are your kids, desperatedan?

As far as I can make out the children are fine and they currently seem happy enough in themselves. On further talking with my daughter I asked her again why her mummy comes into the bedroom and she said it's to put our younger daughter back to sleep when she wakes up. She said her mummy has never done anything to hurt her.

The strange smells could have been a result of rubbish bags collecting up in the house where the local council had failed to empty our rubbish bin. Also, I was told that our youngest daughter spilt milk all over her cot and my (ex)partner found a dirty nappy underneath the rug in the bedroom which we didn't realize was there. The milk could explain the smell that was on her hair, as my (ex)partner had become so depressed she had failed to bath her. We have both become a lot happier in ourselves since we split up.

A lot of these mysteries have been explained in logical terms by my partner, who has also admitted that she has been putting up a front all along, as she is too scared of me getting too close to her and using her emotions against her - I reassured her I would never do this. She has also apologized for the way she treated me and promised that she would never do it again and stated that she feels guilty and since I left she has realized just how much she loves me.

She has also stated that she is willing to undergo hypnosis and take a polygraph test in order to prove her innocence to me and she is also willing to move away from this area, as we both feel the people that surround us may have been playing some mind games. She says she will do whatever it takes to be with me. She is even willing to live completely on my terms, though I wouldn't expect her to do that anyway. There is still a lot of confusion but we both feel that we have made a lot of progress.

Thank you to everyone for your conern.

I hope things work out, desperatedan. Don't trust those tests too much, people who can make themselves belive their own lies can pass them. It's great that you can be there for you kids.

Thats what I thought. What about hypnosis though?

I have actually been proved wrong about a few things though there are other things I am still unsure of. There are ways of finding out the truth though, so I'm sure if I keep digging I will find out in the end.