Verbal abuse just as damaging as physical

I found that verbal is worse then physical.
Physical brusing goes away, as the verbal scars do not fade as quickly. You are right they do permanent damage, I'm still dealing with it 12 yrs later.

I am much the same but I have collected myself,
I can only say the darkness and the suffering helped me become stronger as I no longer fear pain and therefore isnt afraid of mistakes.
My pain made me more extrovert and outgoing
eventually I didn't think of the abuse.

My experience with verbal abuse has been that it's sensitized me to the point where I'm triggered by even innocuous comments made by strangers. Repeated verbal abuse over many years becomes trauma in its own right, and I've developed PTSD as a result, much to my dismay - and of course, to my shame and guilt.

Recognizing that I've been retraumatized is the first step in taking the sting out of the triggering event. Then I have to remind myself that I've been engineered to be traumatized, at this point, to what I hear. It's also more likely to happen when I'm more fragile overall - physically tired, or ill, or dealing with an outbreak of depression. When it rains, it pours.

Being kind to myself is the best tool I have against the trauma.

CS

Oh, I agree completely. I was verbally and psychologically abused for about fifteen years by my mother. She suffered from post traumatic stress disorder and was filled with rage most of the time. The abuse was every day in some form, some days milder than others. My self esteem dropped to zero and I fell apart. I will always hold some of the damage inside me as an adult, but through years of therapy and life and God I have great love for myself now and keep going on. I dont even bother telling people my experience offline because they don't care, especially if they hear what kind of abuse it is. It affected me much, much, much worse than being raped, and other forms of abuse.

i had a verbally ane emotionally abusive father. my mum said to me that he didn't harm me physically (although he threatened us all) and what i went through isn't that bad.

is she right?

Verbal and psychological abuse is another form of abuse.
I think it's complicated because it's can have varying effects that may not be so obvious what the symptoms are tied to.

Personally, I've had some of the same effects or problems stemming from this type of abuse. I think I may have suffered from PTSD like ClearSkies.
Unlike WiseGuy, I believe the opposite happended to me. I remember a time when I used to be a confident, outgoing, and friendly person. Going through the verbal and psychological abuse really beat me down (inside) and warped my personality.

Made me: insecure, self-conscious, angry, defensive, self-conscious, suspicious, harder...

MelonBall, your mother was wrong. This kind of abuse is real and it's negatively effected lots of people in various ways.

I'm new to the forum and agree with DT. I suffered physical, mental, verbal, and emotional abuse at the hands of my father and sister. The non-physical did the most damage to me by far.

I've not long learned that throughout the years my response to any form of shouting or being 'told off' by a male, either in the workforce as a colleague, or boss, or someone on the street, that my body is triggered into a 'fight or flight' response.

My heart jumps and then pumps a million miles an hour, my mind focusses in on the perceived imminent danger, my face and neck turn red, mouth goes dry, palms sweat. It's only been recently that I've realised that not everyone goes or has gone through that each time someone 'scares' them.

Since being older I've managed it better, but now with all the new information that is around, I've realised it's come from having a father with a zero tolerance level and a mother who can be scathing with her verbal sarcasm and attacks.

so its OK for me to say it was wrong and that i asn't at fault?

You're a victim. Victims don't ask to be victimized and they certainly don't deserve to be abused.