How to Co-parent with a verbal abuser

Hi everyone. I could really use some advice about coping with the abuse AFTER the marriage ends. I finally left him after 10 years of being called vulgar names almost every day, even in front of our small children after they were born.

I knew the behavior would continue after leaving, but I had assumed that I would feel more in control. But, I feel the opposite. I feel like life is still hopeless.

Yesterday, I called him to work out who was picking our son up from school. He texted me to only call him in emergencies, that he doesn't want to hear my psycho voice. He later texted to make sure that I wouldn't come by the house that night because he invited someone over. Then, he said to pawn my wedding ring because "that thing's ugly".

I don't know how to stay civil and keep my head held high. And the fact that I'm stuck with this guy until the boys grow up is so discouraging. Whoever else has gone through this, I'm sorry!

This is all very new to you and you are still processing loosing something very real, your marriage. It will get easier with time. Obviously he is trying to jerk you around, without realizing the cost to himself. I think if you could speak to someone local. Maybe in a domestic violence help line or women's shelter, who maybe could direct you to others, who have been down your road.

In the meantime just take pride in your own courage to get your son out of there. Not easy. You were stronger than he thought. Take pride in that. Also be kind to yourself. That is where others (if they are the right others can help).

Wish I could do more.