Big Mistake

I've been away from my ex for a few months. Recently I started missing him again, despite being in a healthy relationship. I don't want to be with him I just... I don't know. Things have been difficult since starting therapy and a lot of old emotions hitting hard.
During our relationship my ex was manipulative, controlling, demeaning and incredibly emotionally abusive. And he still is. I know because I reached out to him the other day for closure, an attempt to stop an emotional bleed which had become unbearable.
It was a very big mistake. He was as awful as ever while pretending to be 'concerned' for me, and even went so far as to have an abuser from my past contact me.

Its insane and exhausting and terrifying. Am I going to ever be free of this $#%^? Am I ever going to let go of this person that so clearly has no regard for me or my well-being?

I hope so.

Thanks for reading.

and welcome, glad to see you are seeing things the way they are not the way we want them to be. It is actually very hard to let go of something we want that we feel we were very close to having.

Take care.