Heyo,
New user, first post.
So, I'm currently having relationship issues with my mother, who I believe is a verbal abuser. First, a little background: My father and her are going through the process of divorce, and I live with my dad; but my mother has wanted me to call her at least once a week, but I haven't been calling her because
I don't want to, because she spent the 17 years that my dad and I did live with her yelling at me and telling me how I "never helped her around the house," "I was never home when she needed me," and right before I moved out, "Whispering about her behind her back." I did everything she ever wanted me to do to help and more, and I never got any appreciation for it. I also got a stomach ulcer when I was around 10, and the doctor diagnosed the cause as stress. I believe it, because I lived in constant fear of my mother and what she would yell at me next, and whenever I was served a meal at home, I would think about all of these things, start to cry, then go vomit. It was horrible. I would cry randomly when I in middle school, because I was afraid of what I would be accused of doing wrong when I got home. I also remember her trying to get blackheads out from under my nose with a sewing needle she put under a flame.. that was bad. And when the first time I told her I hated her, she said “Well, I hate you too! How does that feel?” She was always telling me what I had done wrong, or I had forgot. It was never enough. When my mother and I moved out of the house with my dad and into a new apartment, I thought things would be different. But soon, she was back to yelling at me that I wasn't home enough (I wouldn't be gone for more than 2 hours out of every day), and that when I told her that I didn't like her negative comments, she would tell me "Why don't you just go live with your dad then?!" She always yelled whenever it wasn't her way.
But now that’s all over. She lives in her own apartment across town, and I would come to visit her every weekend, but she would always tell me what I hadn’t done, and why did I come at all if I didn’t want to be with her? And I tried spending a holiday with her—Thanksgiving—but she exploded there, too, called me a materialistic bitch in front of my aunt. I went home early, needless to say. And if I don’t call her for a week or so, she leaves me a nasty message about how I’m abandoning her.
Now that you’ve heard my story: What should I do? Should I call her? Or should I break off my ties? She only causes me stress and anxiety, and I feel better when I don’t talk to her at all..