I'm New - Need your input

Hi:

I have been married for 24 years. A mother of 3 and I believe I have been abused verbally, physically and emotionally. Ever since our marriage 24 years ago it started with my husband getting mad with me because I wanted to call my mom. By the way I was 17 when I got married. Then he became more controlling and controlling. To date I'am very careful of what I say to him and at that he flies off the handle at the drop of a pin. He thinks nothing of belittleing me and or our children in front of family or friends. I have been physically abused my means of being thrown against a wall being strangled to death, etc etc. I feel helpless, I never know when he is going to go off. Things I know not to say to him I don't but I'm still learning. I do love him with all my heart. He's the only one I've ever known. I would be much happier if I knew how to handle him. Things that he says can be very hurtful. I feel like a nobody. I made a drs. appt. and go on 11/5 so I will have to see what they say. I'm very sad and depressed, I feel tightening in my chest. I am not happy with my life. Sorry for rambling on and on.......

Mary,

Please get yourself out of the marriage... the fact that he yells at you and belittles you is enough reason to leave, but the fact that he has been physically violent towards you is scary.

It's fine to love him, but it isn't ok to let yourself be victimized in any way.