Verbal Abuse....am I the victim or the problem or both?

I have been in a relationship for the last 3 years that has been a bit tumultuous and we are currently split up. The first summer we were together, she mentioned I had an anger issue which I reluctantly believed. I started working with a counselor I had been associated with in the late 90's to help with that. Last week I became an abuser, according to her. I started reading some of the signs and I fit into a few of the categories, but I'm not sure if I am a true abuser?

Hiya..

''true abuser'' - a difficult and probably unhelpful label to try and stick to yourself..

I think it's more important to work out how to manage your anger and change the behaviours that could be classed as abusive..


However; can you explain a bit about your behaviour here please.? You haven't given enough info for me to answer whether you're the victim or the problem or even a mixture of both..

Do you mean that your girlfriend told you that you became an abuser last week or do you mean that your counsellor told you this?