Good morning and Happy New Year!
I came upon this site seeking some support, information and insight regarding my situation. I am seriously considering leaving my boyfriend as I have come to the recent conclusion that he is emotionally abusive. I'm mentally exhausted and we have a recurring theme that always ends with me feeling terrible. The past few months he has been increasinlgy moody and tense, snapping at me without provocation. Nasty attitudes and silent treatment. It was at first every once in long while but the frequency and intensity has picked up. Ive always dismissed it as me being highly over sensitive but I now know it is not that. The most recent incident he embarrassed me in the supermarket by yelling at me because I kept saying "hunh?" because I couldnt hear what he said. I just got fed up and we havent spoken in several days and I am really ready to leave him. Any conflict we have, he uses the silent treatment. He is a master of it....and I always end up breaking down and calling, texting or emailing and then everything is fine. He is a charming person, congenial, friendly, a gentleman most days. But when he's awful, he's awful. He only treats me like this (although I have seen him employ the silent treatment with his children from a prior relationship that reside with him-I do not approve and I think it is cruel). At his job and with his family and friends, he is the epitomy of a nice guy. I've never witnessed him snap or yell or give the silent treatment except to me and less frequently his kids. I go back and forth as to whether I want to throw in the towel...if i had to put a number on it i'd say it's about 25 % of the time, and there is a part of me that feels confused and guilty for wanting to give up. But I dont feel good anymore, I am always on pins and needles wondering if I did something or when the next wave of sharp words or silence will come. We never even get to address any issues because of the silent treatment, he ignores me completely and then i contact him and we never discuss whatever the problem is because I dont want to make a fight when things are good. Of note, he is an avid student of psychological techniques...he's always reading the Art of War, 48 Laws of Power, Art of Seduction, etc...so a part of me feels he knows exactly what he's doing. He's always doinmg things for people he doesn't want to do, he's the king of complaints...but he always does for others with a kind smile so i can't understand why he is increasingly mean to me when all i do is support him and treat him kind.