My brother is controlling and I feel trapped

I have nobody to talk to and may be not understood here but I need to speak out anyway.

My brother and I were close as children and even up until our teens we laughed and played with the occasional disagreement. It was all very normal. He is 5 years older than me. I only really had him because my mum was mean to both of us growing up and we were poor. He made it bearable for me to feel okay to exist.

I really don't know exactly when this began but for years now it feels like he morphed into another person, lost his personality and became a narcissistic, controlling, manipulative bully.

When I first noticed this I wanted him to move out, by a miracle he left for 3 years had a child and then broke up and came back again. I thought the coming back part was temporary... he has been back for 5 years now!

My mum is and always has been mentally ill so I am her carer. I have never left home. He is always barking out orders to her like a dictator "mum don't do this...! mum don't do that...!" He even shouts at the cat for meowing! He has what I call a very negative field around him when he's present, is sarcastic rude and constantly interrogating my poor mother about the most minor things. He shamelessly says this in front of my 6 year old niece whenever she comes to stay... what must she think of it all? I don't know.

He talks about family and friends behind their back but then goes and does those same things he complains about to me and my mother!

He is genuine sometimes... only when he is about to ask for something (money or a babysitter at the drop of a hat) we are bascially his slaves/robots he programs with orders to meet his wants and needs. We walk on eggshells and live in constant threat of intimidation. I really believe that we are the targets of his misogyny and xenophobia.

He doesn't pay any rent, gas, electricity, internet and phone bill, buy his own food or tidy or clean the house. He constantly pees on the toilet floor and leaves it there??! I told him there was pee on the floor and he said he was tired and couldn't talk now.

He spends all his money on beer and weed. I allowed him to get his wages pain into my bank account and use my bank card and pin number which I was thought would be temporary. I asked and he said he can't get one until he renews his passport... so why doesn't he renew it and live independently??

I recently set up a card account for him and wire his wages to that new account each week. I want to be free!

Thankfully he does provide financially for my niece who visits every weekend but she seems to be the only person in the universe that he loves!! I want my brother back it's not fair.

One day I told him. I had tears rolling down my face all choked up, broke down and totally poured my heart out he denied my experience and then he did the washing up. He refuses therapy or just sitting there with his own thoughts and feelings.

I could go on and on... all of it negative...

I feel like my telling about my brother is a betrayal and I'm even paranoid he's gonna somehow find this webpage. I have written a few posts on the internet about him but usually ended up feeling ashamed and believed he'd changed so deleted my threads.