Narcissistic Nightmare

I was with my ex for 6 years. At first it was great even though i got pregnant very quickly. We moved into our own place and planned to be a family.
Once the baby was born, it was like i was walking on egg shells, heaven forbid if our son was crying, i better soothe him quickly otherwise i would have to face my partners rage. He would make me go to the supermarket with the pram and get our weekly shopping and carry it all back to our house which was half an hour away, how could i expect him to pick up shopping even though he worked at the supermarket?
He would fight with me over the smallest things and he would blow up with such rage over things that seemed so unimportant.
Everything was always my fault, i could never do anything right or please him whatsoever.
Yet he could behave however he wanted and it would be brushed off if i commented.
I suffered this behaviour for a long time and for some reason i married him, thinking it would somehow make things better. relationships are always so difficult right? :/
I think part of me didn't want to give up on the idea of a family.
He wore me down for years and the rumours of cheating and messages he left open on the laptop to other women arranging to have sex.
I was constantly criticized and made fun of and humiliated in front of people. But it was all my fault for being so sensitive.
He would recoil in disgust if i kissed or touched him with his permission.
If he was unhappy with me, he would make sure i was punished by either ignoring me completely for days or doing something he knew would hurt my feelings.
He moved my son and I to a new area just to cover up his latest affair. I was alone with no family or friends while he did what he wanted.
He would always spend all or money so we had barely enough to live on. So i could barely leave the house.
Just when I was starting to feel like I couldn't take much more and i felt like there was not much left of me there to break, HE ended our marriage. he said it just wasn't working for HIM??!! And also that I was no longer to speak to him at all unless it was about our son.
So cold and so callous like i never meant anything to him.
Since we split he forced me and my son to move out of our home resulting in us living with my parents for a while(we know have our own place).
From the day we broke up he was sleeping with whoever would have him, including some supposed friends of mine.
He drinks and smokes weed most nights per week.
He was texting constantly blaming me for the situation. I even received a text with him expressing his wish for me to die and trying to put me down until i blocked his texts.
He has been a terrible dad and not gave any thought whatsoever to how our son might be feeling. Hes barely gave me a penny and when trying to arrange contact it is near impossible unless its all his way. Now he no longer sees our son at all, he calls him occasionally. This is due to when he did have our son he was leaving him with whoever could take him so he could go to the pub and on one occasion i arrived to drop off my son (at 10.30am) and my ex hadn't returned home from a party the previous night. During the phone calls he has started treating my son the way he did me, mocking him and putting him down and reducing him to tears after a call (my son is 4). My son even referred to himself as a 'stupid boy' following his call.
What can I do to protect my son from this destructive person?

hiya..

I'm really sorry that you've been through all of that.. it sounds like it's been so so tough to deal with over so many years xx

My own birth dad was very much like your sons dad.. eventually, i stopped trying with him after finally realising that there was no point.. it was never about me or anything that i did wrong.. it was simply that he couldn't love and more to the point, probably didn't want to either.

I know that you really want your son to have the best parents that he can but your sons dad doesn't sound like he's very healthy for your son to be around..

It may well be worth thinking about stopping trying so hard to get your husband to see or talk to your son..
If your son doesn't want to talk to his dad or his emotional well-being is suffering because of talking to him, it's going to be healthier for him to stop contact completely for the moment..


Have you got anyone helping you work through everything atm..? When relationships with people like your husband end, there are usually an awful lot of feelings to try and work through.. usually the hardest one is ''what did i do wrong?/was it me?''

Is counselling something that you're able to access atm and would consider? It's very worthwhile asking for one with experience of emotionally abusive relationships..

xx