Depressed and hate myself

Hi everyone. I just want to know if I'm In a verbally abusive elationship and what it is that I can do to get out.

I just got married to a caring man my husband last year and 3 months into the marriage we were making love non stop everyday and as soon as his 10 hour shifts kicked in at a new work site for his job he does not make love to me anymore. I'm in my early 20s and don't work I'm actually about to enroll into nursing school so I can take care of myself eventually independently because right now my husband is the breadwinner and is in control of all finances. We started arguin a lot lately mainly because of miscommunication and him belittling me saying " you came from nothing, listen to the man", " You are dark no one will ever want you", " No one will take care of you like I do", " If you do not listen to me you will be homeless because no one wants you". One time about 8 months ago and it still lingers painfully with me in my mind he told me that no one wants me with my dark skin, acne face and cellulite on me only they want some one light skinned cute and short that gutted me because I fell ugly and fat now I barely eat anything but one or two sandwiches or a salad each day. He doesn't recall telling me such thing when I reminded him he said that but I still remember. My acne has improved a lot since than but I still have cellulite on my thighs. I'm 5'7 195lbs and plan on losing 30 and 60 by the end of this year or so.

He tells me every week that no one would even want me. That I should remain quiet listen to give and everything will be ok. He tells me that I'm living the dream because I don't have to work like a dog like everyone else does and that I get to just relax at home as a stay at home housewife that every women wish they were in my shoes. Bu I tell him that's nice I agree honey but I don't like when you constantly criticize me. Everyday we argue about me me me not doing this right not doing that right it's just always my fault my fault my fault. He rushes me to hurry when we go to store and is very demanding " you come here wear this dress"," I don't like what you have on change it ugh!", " cover your but missy that belongs to me", " No one will ever treat you as good as I do so hush!". I feel stuck in this marriage now. I feel even more unattractive and undesirable.

He works out and have muscles and always say he gets attention. I'm tired of this. But I have absoluteluty no where to go no friends no family just him. No job no money nursing school is my only hope out. I'm fat ugly and depressed with nothing but him to relie on. I have no skills trade only retail experience but I'm about to enroll in a nursing school to help with that. He is going to pay for all my tuition fees and getting me a new car this summer. He buys me clothes and tell me how to dress what to wear.

Threats
He told me on several occasions that if I cheat on him he will kill me and the guy. But recently he's been very secure in me saying " You would never cheat because I make too good of money($100,000yr) and all those men want is sex, so be smart and stick to me or you'd be homeless than no one will really want you". He even threatens me by saying he will knock my teeth out, and I always reply with a jail and court statement and he calms down. I remember a story he told me 7 months ago about a former girlfriend of his he found out was with someone else cheating on her real boyfriend and both of them ended up shot in the head dead and he told me it was a murder suicide. Also he told me one of his ex got ran over by a train and died. Who knows what really happen but I'm scared to cheat because I don't want to be homeless but I do want to be with someone else who would love me and not say such things to me. About 4 months ago he threw a bag of chips at my forehead and they broken into my hair and all over the floor he told me he wasn't trying to throw at me and than when I tried to clean the mess he yelled " Get out the way! You taking too long that's not how you clean!" And took over cleaning and called me a bitch and said " I wish I can throw this skate board at you you bitch".

I don't know what to do but I have suicidal thoughts ever other day. I think about cutting myself too. Last time I did was in highschool. But now I'm so frustrated and angry I wish I can hop in front of a diesel and just die but I'm scared, I want a quick death but I manage to deal with my miserably unhappy life. I have to go to nursing school stay strong and in future get a nursing job save up and get away from him but until than I'm walking on eggshells.

###$ him, I bet your gorgeous, he's the ugly one. No one deserves to be treated like that. Don't tie yourself to him, get a divorce and don't accept any more of his money. You CAN get the duck out of there. Apply for public housing and food stamps. Find the nearest women shelter if you need to. Dont let that disgusting worthless excuse for a human control your life and your emotions like that. You DONT need him