Abusive mother

I know how you feel. My mother seems like a perfectly nice caring women. She studies at Uni to be a teacher. She is an amazing Cub Scout leader. Yeah, shes bloody perfect to the outside world. I'm 15 and I feel like I'm going insane. I have always been told by her to "get thicker skin" or "stop the dramatics". But this is what she is like. I didnt want to light the gas stove top with a match. I was afraid of burning myself. She screamed at me, in front of my best friend to do it, calling me lazy, bitch everything and and anything you can think of, she made me do it. Then she grabbed my hand and held it to the match until it burnt my finger. My friend screamed and i told her to stop, I got a slap in the face. At this time i was only 12.

My brother was depressed for 2 years, he is now 23 and still living under the same house. He once cut himself and i cried, it was horrible for me to see the scar, all my mother did was tell me to "Stop being so dramatic" at the same time, my mother can be nice and caring, sending me to Italy with school and making sure i have lunch everyday. and then on days like today she asks to talk to me about her assignment at uni, so she does and i interrupt, because i know what the assignment is about ( she has told me 5 times this week) and i want Her to get to the point. i get back "shut the F*** up". Its ridiculous, if she wants my opinion why tell me to shut up? and she screams that i rolled my eyes and then starts calling me a selfish bitch, grounds me and screams that the world doesnt revolve around me. I was once told by her that she "Doesnt like me as a person" and that i "should just go die" And im just so confused as to how my MOTHER of all the people in my life can treat me like that. I get this kind of stuff everyday.

I am a good student, in advanced classes, getting good grades, supportive bunch of friends, boyfriend, heavily involved in scouting and school community. I dont understand how my own mother can hate me and love me this much. If i was cruel, mean and horrible to her, i would understand but i just am not. I know with my age you are probably thinking that im just another teenager complaining about my mother but please try to see this my way. Am i the one who needs to change? Am i the one who is wrong? Please help me.

I have moved your post from its original thread as I felt that it warranted a thread in its own right. What you are going through is horrendous, and you don't deserve this. I'm concerned about the fact that you're still very young, and that your mother physically abused you in this way when you were only twelve. Hun, this is abuse and it's illegal.

You can't handle this on your own and you need to speak to someone. Is there a teacher/student welfare officer/counsellor at your school who you could approach for help? It sounds as if you have a lot of supportive people around you, and it will help you if you can reach out to them. None of this is your fault and you deserve to live in peace and security. How old are you?

I'm reading more narcissist descriptions. There are support groups for survivors/recovering from narcissistic abuse. I know, I'm joining them too. I recommend learning what that's about NOW, not after you realize you've dated narcissistic partners your whole life like your narcissistic parent.