I'm at the end of my rope...

[The Griffjo]

I lost my job last June and have been unsuccessful at finding employment. Since then, my soon to be ex-wife has been hounding me to provide for my son and two step-daughters. I have no money, I'm living with a friend, and I barely keep myself alive/sane. I want nothing else than to see my kids, but she denies me visitation, plus she constantly berates me about my condition and the effect it will have on the kids. There are 3 nights a week I cry myself to sleep because I don't get to see my kids like I used to. I drink and drink until the pain subsides just a little to be able to cope. Jesus, I didn't even get to see my son on his 3rd birthday because I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. Am I at fault? Or is she acting on her motherly instincts? i just want to see my kids!