it could've been so much better

[jaus tail]

if only father were alive... the possibility would've made so much difference to my family's life. there wouldnt be emotional breakdowns, no anger issues, no bitterness. maybe there would be problems, but no permanent damages.

now it's like i've had breakdowns, i am in a career where i was exactly 9 years ago and this is so embarrassing. my instable moods. emotional wreck. impulsive mistakes.