This is unbearable

[Sadpeanut]

someone kill me this is unbearable. I'm 9/10 of the way to being unable to even experience sexual gratification because everything looks like it's unpleasant now which causes intense physical irritation, which is apparently a thing the brain can do because it's a ######6 idiot. it's been 6+months since it started, and every time I sense a reduction in symptoms, it comes back harder. I can't sleep right without a meal's worth of drugs, and I can't even get properly drunk anymore because my liver was apparently donated to me by superman.

That is to say, I can't escape this nightmare by healthy or even unhealthy means. Every waking moment is spent worrying about it, when it's not spent trying desperately to find a reprieve of some sort.