White vs Black, Circles and other ramblings...

[Something]

This is unedited, nor read back(much), nor complete nor do I care.

WvB
Black. Like the shadows in my earliest flash back dreams. Flash backs to a memory from a time when the mind cannot store memory coherently, and stores the event as feelings, colours and the like. A dark shadow coming up the stairs. Light bulbs blowing out, the switches refusing to work, a blink of an eye and the sun has become the moon, enclosed into nighttime. Feelings of dread a doom.
Black. Like the memorys I do not hold as they are held by an alter of mine. I currently have some of the befores, and then the afters. The inbetweens being held by someone else are black. blacked out. Just a knowing of an event my mind does not want to know represented by the colour black and bad feelings.

White. A becon of hope. A white light in the midst of the darkness. The Moon shining in the Nightsky. In the midst of darkness the white light becomes prominant.
White. Like the white hairs I have always had on my chin.
White like bone. Like skulls.
White. Like the ghosts of my dreams, the ones that are visible anyways. White like the flesh that would contrast blood so well... funny how little I have to say about white at this point in time despite my affilation towards the colour. The black memories are far more prominant and the white could be a side effect of the darkness. End

Circles
Same shuffling I become aware of beyond the isle of the shop that obscures, to have a woman the same height of the isle suddenly appear in front of me and proclaim "You're too tall" to which I frown at to be responded with "It's a good thing". It was a different shop the time before the time before this one.

Same argument with bitchboy. Same threats. Same van thats emits a telephone ringing sound as I pass to head to the shop. Then bitchboys car speeds past on an empty road.

Same light-grey car scoping me. Same blue car watching me.

Same woman, with the white flesh, black hair and a poncho who heads into the shop after me but up to the till before me. She takes a peep, like the time before, when I am 'not looking' *smiles* The white flesh that contrasts blood so well, and would burn so easily... Maybe my first victim *laughs*
My mind has blanked. End

H.P Lovecraft wrote horror stories about his supressed memories. Un definable creatures from the blackend depths of the 'universe' (his mind), stories of dreams with unseen creatures looming and growing and imposing and closing in. He also wrote of 'negroes' in a derogatory and ... cant think of the word... but they were reffered to as 'negroes' and had jobs as seaman, and laborers. On the bottom. Whiteskins where portrayed as scholars, scientists and philosiphers, 'negroes' were portrayed as beneathe them. The Necronomicon, A book fictionalized by Lovecraft: Book of the Dead, filled with demon rituals and incantaions to summon creatures from the depths of the Universe, written by a mad Arab...

Lynch, David Lynch. Casts whiteskins always... cannot be bothered to double check but the only black man (I dislike the politically correct term 'African-American' for obvious reasons, being it only applies to America) I remember from one of his films was in Lost Highway, had a 20-30second role... as a crippled sped in a wheelchair incapable of using their arms and legs.

Heinrich Himmler, an affilation/obsession towards golden hair and the colour white. And destructive tendancies. Super Saiyans, from Japanese animation DragonBall Z, hair turn golden. Tetsuo, from another Japanese media indulgence, hair turns white. Mad Silas(?) from Violence Jakku, after cannibalizing his girlfriend, after finding her dead by Jakkus hand, white hair sprouts from his head and grows down his spine. His girlfriend had golden hair. She was also transgender.

Cannibalism. I had dreams of cannibalism. Open a door and there were two asian girls making out, which soon led to biting and tearing of the flesh. Another where I sat upon a throne at a party of drugs and such things with a dead body layed in front of me. Someone cries "The police are here", Sh*t! what to do, I ate the body. Gotta hide the evidence after all. Cannibalism, a metaphor for forced incest? To cannibalize the flesh is to eat the flesh of your own kind. To commit incest is to have sexual encounters with your own kin, your own flesh and blood.

The Arayan Race, the Master Race, despicted as golden haired, white fleshed Gods amongst Men. A Myth? Or a metaphor/description for sexually traumatized individuals with dissociative minds. My own hair, described as mousey brown, was called golden by one who had triggered me. But why does that leave the darkskins out of the equation or does sexual trauma have different results for them? Would their naturally black hair be able to turn blonde? Did Lovecraft, does Lynch believe that 'negroes' should be beneathe the whiteskins? Do they believe that 'negroes' are the originators of the bloodline?

I touched on this vaguely in my 'Equality' vent and also the 'To Victims of...' vent... I believe so, but observed the broken lands that many are born into without choice is the problem and not the skin colour... Anti-Social minds are boosted by their enviroments, not Psychopathic - they wish. But Sociopathic. But certain enviroments could boost a sociopath into a psychopath. Sexual Trauma can induce psychopathic traits as a means to cope without need for the enviroment. Was Ted Bundy a sexual trauma victim? He was not a murderer, but a serial Rapist. Some victims bodys where found still alive so he wasn't concerned about killing them. He sometimes left them still breathing... did he have demons like Berkowitz did? Who was really driving those bullets he hap-hazzardly fired at couples? Often the male victim would take more bullets than the female, but often the female always died and the male lived. He was punishing the male and setting the female free, in his mind... was it his own psychic energy that drove the bullets he hap-hazzardly shot, with seemingly no thoughts put into the event...

Burzum is against multi-cultural societies, says mixing isnt good for the mind. It is true that, in the UK especially - one of the most priviledged countries on this Planet, that many people birthed into this land (white and/or black) will immitate the behavior of ones who have come from broken enviroments who have anti-social tendancies, like a bunch of dogs. True Subhuman, to act on all fours with no reason to do so but the choice of the dog mind. It is not the broken lands fault, the violent minded ones, it is not the sexually traumatized ones fault. The dogs make choices that are not forced.

A random thought - An individual cannot create, nor control True Sexual Trauma.

I am tired, and my head is throbbing mildly. End