I hate America and I am proud.

[LoneSword7878]

Wow.

When was the last time I ever posted something on this site? I stopped coming to this place per request of both my mother and psychiatrist, but I took control back to myself and came back. You have no idea how long I have been holding this back. I am someone who has been meaning to say a few things because I seem to have nowhere to turn.

The first thing I want to do is tell you who I am, and I am well aware that I have shared this information before.

I am a young man in his early twenties who has Asperger's Syndrome, is agnostic formerly Catholic, and questions his sexuality.

For a good chunk of my life, I have been viciously bullied for expressing myself differently from what is or was considered norm. People insulted and ridiculed me ever since grade school for my habits and curiosity. I remember receiving the worst of it in middle school where people maliciously labeled me “gay” or called me “#######1” for acting out differently. This was the time where I began questioning what turned me on the most and the fact that I went to a Catholic hellhole of a school did not help at all.

A few months ago had got into an argument that lasted the whole day against someone. This argument happened immediately after the announcement that the United Sates finally legalized marriage equality. I’m assuming this person was a girl and this argument has all but cemented that a majority of Christians are the most entitled and hateful people on the planet.

It started off with her quoting random bible verses saying that being LBGT is a sin and yada yada. I told her that he or she did not have the right to project her sense of morality onto other people, but she said he or she could because free speech. She also told me to know my place as if to subordinate me. I told her that she needed to back off and get her own life and that it is unspeakably arrogant that she needed to have her say in the lives of two privately consenting individuals with the ability to think and act for themselves.

She once again said that she could enforce her values on others and that she only hated homosexuality and not homosexuals. It was the same old "hate the sin, not the sinner" horsecrap and I was quick to tell her that LGBT's cannot change who they are. She then invoked the Christian persecution complex by calling me a bully and hypocrite for criticizing her even though she stepped into the ring first. I told her that her values were hers and hers alone to follow and that she did not know anything about me and didn't have any say in my personal affairs.

She was laughing all the way as if this was some sick game. She told me I was funny and hoped God would guide me in the right way. I was completely dumbfounded by her behavior and said that I thought she was one of the most disgusting people I ever met in my life.

Anyway, I have been dying to have my say in something that for the longest time I was forbidden from saying. I searched everywhere to find like-minded people who shared my passionate sentiments, but I was scorned by all of them. I continued my search until I discovered a small number. I watched one certain video on YouTube and I felt that I was finally free.

I feel that I have endured so much even though I hate to make it sound like this is some sort of competition. However, as someone who has experienced what he has experienced, I feel the most entitled of all. Please forgive me if I end up striking chords and were not meant to be struck, but I have reached beyond my limit.

The point of this letter is the following.

I HATE AMERICA.

And you know what?

I’m proud.

I despise almost everything about this so-called nation and what it supposedly stands for, and my reasons why are going to blow you away.

I am proud to hate this nation because it was stolen from other more noble people. We stole this land from people who were living here way longer than anybody else and, what’s worse, we treat them as second class! What right did we have to ever invade this land of theirs and steal it from under their feet and then later massacre them and have the gall to call this the land of “freedom” and “opportunity?” I speak of the Native Americans.

I am proud to hate this nation because it has also stolen and entire race of people from their homes and then made them its slaves for apparently being more primitive and all for having a different skin color. Centuries later, even after these people fought their emancipation because they were human beings just like me, they are still treated as second class for apparently being inherently violent! I speak of African-Americans.

I am proud to hate this nation because of its actions in World War II after it dropped two population obliterating atomic bombs on a tiny, banana shaped island just to prove that they had the bigger balls. What’s worse is that we treat these people as second class! I speak of the Japanese and other Asians.

I am proud to hate this nation for how it views certain people who fled their original homes as parasites because they could never make an affordable life. This is another group of people that is seen as inherently violent and we thus treat them as second class! I speak of the Hispanics.

I am proud to hate this nation because for how it views all people from both a different land and a different religion as inherently violent just because a few of them committed a tragedy. We see all of these people as terrorists and we treat them as second class! I speak of both the Muslims and Middle Easterners.

I am proud to hate this nation because of how it views half of their population as property instead of their own person because they are of a different gender. We treat these people as second class even after they fought for their right to live their lives as they please! I speak of women.

Most of all, since I am one of these people, I am proud to hate this nation because of what it has done to those who were born with a different set of sexual instincts. These people are demonized for simply existing, since time immemorial, and we treat them as second class! I speak of sexual and gender non-conformists, or LGBT’s.

And I proud to hate the white, straight, masculine, mostly southern so-called conservatives and Christians who are willing to commit these atrocities in the name of freedom. Before I go on with that, I hate the idea that this land of founded on any sort of concept. I hate the idea that this waste of space is a symbol of so-called universal freedom when we did no such thing ever in our history. I hate this nation because it is a prison of its own freedom.

I am proud to hate the people who happen to be of my own white skin color for what they have done to African-Americans and still continue to believe that the Civil War was justified. It was not a war, it was an insurrection and it disgusts me that they still continue to feel that they are victims. When it comes down to it these people are the greatest terrorists the world has ever seen. Over half a million people died by their hands, way more than any tragedy or war fought in our history combined, and because they all got butthurt that couldn’t own slaves anymore. What is worse is that they feel proud of it any to this day.

I am proudest, however, to hate Christians and the people of so-called faith who do nothing but demonize others for simply not conforming to their so-called beliefs. I hate the word belief with a burning passion. I despise people like Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee, Tony Perkins, and so on for saying that I live a sinful and unnatural existence all because I was born differently from them. These hypocrites spew hatred and pass laws against women, blacks, Muslims, LGBT, Hispanics, the mentally ill, the disadvantaged, and the homeless.

These people all deserve to die for what they have done and I feel no shame in saying that. What kind of a dumb name is Huckabee anyway? What in the hell gave these people the right to vote against my right to live my life as I see fit?! They never had the right to “speak their mind” against me when I never did anything to them! Do these people not understand that what they have said and done have caused countless people, mostly children, to kill themselves?!

What is worse is that we let this terrorism pass by in the name of freedom instead of standing up to it. This is where I drop several of the biggest bombshells that I have been holding onto for far too long. These are all going to blow you away like I said.

I HATE FREE SPEECH!

There, I said it.

Go ahead and call me a Nazi.

I don’t care.

I’m done with it.

Hell, I never even started with it.

I hate that it’s glorified and I hate that it is advocated.

Besides being greatly overrated and irrelevant, I also find that free speech is elitist, conformist, and promotes a needless cycle of collectivist competition while demoting personal responsibility and independence. I also believe that it is responsible for perpetuating our broken and bloody two party system. I find the notion that Americans must basically duel their ideas for the most popularity is despicably paternalistic.

This is also how I feel about democracy. Democracy and free speech are both overrated and I would personally be happier without them. To me, they are both simple ideas made up by flawed human minds that can easily be cast aside.

I hate how everyone romanticizes that dialogue and compromise can solve everything and the notion is more sinister than idealistic. If you demand or require that two opposing forces, let us say me and you know what for example, become buddies, you deny those people their autonomy and freedom of association and ultimately achieve social conformity. You will have forced people to give up their being of themselves and their ability to fight their own battles. Then again, if one side is hellbent on keeping another down, then that side doesn’t deserve to be themselves.

Most free speech advocates that I have encountered are hypocrites in and of themselves, too. I hear most of them claim to stand up for the little guy one moment and then make appeals to the majority the next. For example, there was another guy on YouTube that I was a fan of who stood up for both atheists and LGBT’s. The sad thing is that this person had a friend who committed suicide because he or she was outcasted for his or her atheism. He was heartbroken that one moment saying that God loves everyone and then the next he’s saying he does not care what Christians think about LGBT’s, even after he called them his “brothers and sisters.”

People like that don’t deserve my empathy. A friend was just taken away from him because he or she was demonized to death the same way countless LGBT’s were and he does nothing about it. I have no regrets saying this, he deserves to feel sad.

Let me provide a few more examples of people who chose to roll over for oppression instead of challenging it head on. I found one blog on the internet about a lesbian dealing with discrimination in the south. In the wake of the Chick-fil-a incident, she’s completely fine with the right wing organization pushing money to have her rights taken away one moment, then it all comes back to bite her in the ass when she finds people donating money to that same organization, apparently hearing one person say he was tired of “#######1.” As far as I am concerned, she deserves to feel like trash if she is going to live her life by another’s so-called values.

What is worse is that some of these people even called “brave” for upholding these oppressive institutions like religion and marriage, and the people who are deconstructing them are called fascists and bullies.

Also, Voltaire and John Stuart Mill are dead, rotten, and buried to me. I could care less about what either of those two said about free speech because free speech does not affect my life one bit. I consider myself both an anti-foundationalist and an offspring of a much more radically individualistic generation. I am here on this Earth to live my life as I see fit and I am tired of people say that I am expected to change the world.

I am going to admit that I do not remember being taught about the first amendment back in school. I’ve always had it in my head that free speech then was meant for people to freely criticize the government, not other people. After doing some reading online, I’ve come to understand that I am not alone as countless other people do not seem to know what free speech stands for either. So I thought, what better place to leave something that is always being misinterpreted than in the dust?

In that regard, free speech has nothing to do with anything in reality.

Another reason I hate free speech is because it reduces principles such as treating people the same way you would like to be treated in return to mere ideas.

It's just like Soren Kirkegaard or what's-his-name said, "How absurd is it that people demand free speech for the free thought they rarely use?"

Let me tell you one thing that makes me want to throw up my entrails in disgust. Native Americans, Africans, and LGBT's have existed way, way, way, before anybody "discovered" anything. They were already living by their own codes and nobody gave a crap. But then here comes the west and they start enforcing their hierarchies onto everyone and that is when everything hit the fan. This godforsaken nation of "mine" was stolen from other people along with other groups of people we apparently thought were uncivilized or savage. We realized that we ruined their lives, but we still have the cojones to say their freedom to be treated as human beings must be up to contest.

I remember when I used to strongly believe in equality until I started questioning my sexuality. Now I know that equality is just a nicer word for conformity. Why in the hell would I want to be equal to those call me hate filled words and fight against my about ability to live my life as I so desire? Forget that, I want to be better than those people! Why would anyone want to be equal to there oppressors?

I hate this country because it is simply too free! I also hate this country because of its system of democracy. Freedom of speech and democracy are both overrated, elitist, irrelevant, and conformist. Among many other concepts and all aside from their incessant glorifying, these two both needlessly promote a cycle of collective competition of popularity and productivity and demote personal independence and responsibility.

I also hate this country because of the myths that persist about it. Here is one for example that I am going to probably be the first one to say this out loud, political correctness does not exist! It’s only a term made up by the powerful so that they could keep control of their privilege whenever is it challenged by those in the minority. If someone were to insult me or deny me my ability to live my life, I’d probably deck that person right away for assuming he or she had the “right” to speak to me in such a hateful tone.

That is not political correctness, that is justice!

I also refuse to tolerate those who would enable said terrorism in the name of freedom and compromise. For too long I have been betrayed by many who rather defend a bigot's "right" to look down on me than protect my right to stand up on my own two feet. I am a person with feelings and emotions and I find terrorism such as this unacceptable by any means. If you ask me, this is true political correctness and you can feel free to call me batshit at this point, I don’t care. Phrases like "Everyone's entitled to their opinion” and memes like free speech and democracy are what truly promote political correctness instead of allowing people to reason with each other.

…I hate this nation

When did it all change...?

I've been keeping up with the news lately, and just when I thought I was getting used to all of the crap in the world something proves me wrong. I am not suicidal, but my life is getting dreadfully tedious now. It's the same old cycles and the same old routines.

Something happens, people sensationalize the ever loving crap out of it, it spreads like a virus, people take sides, and it is mostly the victim's responsibility to clean it up. When did it all change? When did treating others the way you want to be treated in return become taboo? When did it become a sin to define yourself? When did being considerate of other people's humanity become cause for alarm?

When did intruding into the lives of other people who are different for being different become just as excellent? When did adults calling people hateful names like spoiled children become just as moral? When did representing and portraying people as something that they are not become okay? When did spreading lies and hatred become just as logical? When did criticizing or getting upset at people for something they did wrong, as well as asserting your individuality, become bullying and thought policing?

Speaking of victims, we have completely warped our sense of what it means to be one. It's so easy and even imperative to become a "victim" and demonizer of something rather than a survivor and a teacher. For example, it's impossible for me to create a strong, assertive, and independent non-traditional type of character or explore new possibilities without some pissant crying. I can't write a female character without someone crying "feminist," an LGBT character without someone crying "political correctness" or that someone else's sexuality is being "shoved down their throats," or a non-white character without someone crying "reverse racism."

Plus, like I just said, I can't criticize or get upset at someone for doing something wrong without being called a thought policing agenda pushing bully. Jesus, I remember another idiot on YouTube basically saying that LGBT's are all bullies because they won't allow other people to control them. Despising this very nation that has abused me for the longest time now has become an achievement for me.

I can't live this way.

I just can't.

And how am I supposed to react?

I'll tell you how I react.

I react with hatred.

I react with hatred towards my fellow man and hatred towards myself.

I wish others were never born and I wish that I was never born.

I wish that this godforsaken country of "mine" would burn and that I would burn along with it.

I wish to destroy other people and then destroy myself.

[clearskies84]

*mod edit- please read the pink notice above*