so angry

[witchessabbath]

I've had this anger that's been building over the last 9 months or so, it's been really prominent over the last few days especially. I only got up an hour ago and already all I want to do is drink. I'm thinking about cutting but at the moment it's enough just to imagine it.

I don't even know what I am ######6 angry about. If I knew why I was angry at least I could do something about it, but it seems like there's a lot of different reasons that I don't know how to address.

Even when I try to release the feelings here I just can't find the words. The only way I know how to express it is by being destructive and that doesn't even pinpoint the cause. ###$.