nothing ever gets better

[jaus tail]

the sexual abuse ruined it all. then my caretaker. all she does is tell others how miserable her life is n makes everyone feel sorry for her.

i just hate it all. today morning i masturbated to the thought of suk**** off a friend. like being a slave or something. i mean i think of the days before abuse n what it could've been. i'm a waste of life n nothing will get better.

i have been slapped by friend n still feel sorry for him. like i'm some person who lives in guilt. i feel like a fool n hate my caretaker for making me one.