On death/suicide

[AprilR]

I haven't been taking my meds for a few days and i can feel the fear returning to me. I hate this country so much that even if i wasn't scared to live, i wouldn't want to. %90 of my life was full of anxiety and fear, i had good memories too, but when i think of future, it just isn't enough for me to want to live. I know life's supposed to be a trial, but this is what i feel right now, and i know a lot of religious people feel the same too. I just wish God would take my life along with my parents, because the future after that just seems horrifying to me.