Sitting Alone at Lunch

[Taylor000]

I'm in high school, and I suffer from chronic loneliness. I sit alone at lunch, and this other boy also sits alone, so I decided to suck up the remains of my social anxiety (because it's improved tremendously!) and sit with him one day.

I was afraid he might be mean because he looked kind of tough, but he seemed nice. He didn't talk much, so I had to run the whole conversation, and he didn't look at me once the whole time. I don't mind it, but we were sitting side-by-side in the hallway, and I was kind of turned to face him, and he just stared straight ahead the whole time.

Anywho, I was super pumped that I had made such bounds on my social anxiety as to be able to ask a stranger to sit with them, and my hopes were high that he'd come sit with me the next day as I invited him to, especially because he told me about how he liked his old home better because he had more friends there.

Well he didn't come. It's only been 2 days, so I guess there's a chance he'll come later, but this let-down affected my depression more than I imagined it would. I actually cried in 2 of my classes, and which is something that hasn't really happened before. I guess it would have been better if I had never gotten my hopes up, but I was hoping for a way out of my pain just to be told that I'm going to have to keep enduring it. I don't want to keep enduring it.