Quiet on the outside, loud on the inside.

[sufferwell]

I feel so horrible because of this. On the outside, I'm a friendly, kind person but on the inside I'm so completely different. It feels like hell in my head and I feel my own mind tearing me down. I feel like I'm crumbling and that I'm going to snap soon and then it's going to be the autumn of 2013 all over again. I can't take the things that my brain is putting me through and I want to do something that will make me feel alive again; not like a living ghost. I want the numbness to go away. I want the hallucinations and delusions to go away. I want all the bad things in my life to just disappear before something happens. I can't take this anymore and I'm scared.