My feelings matter.

[Ophiuchus]

This is my non-negotiable rule for people who wish to befriend me or win my heart, regarding my sensitivities.

If you can live happily without it, and I cannot live happily with it, it has to go. This goes for people, TV shows, language, or anything else that I have a moral/emotional issue with. If I cannot help but be hurt by it (and no, that's not a choice for me), and you can refrain from doing/saying/bring it around me, then you should refrain from doing/saying/bringing it around me.

I know that almost anybody in my life is going to offend me at some point, but when that happens, I don't want to hear excuses and justifications. I want to hear an apology, a self-correction and a promise that it won't happen again. Or at least that the behavior will slow down and eventually stop. Familial, platonic and romantic relationships are emotionally-based, therefore, how we feel should matter more to us than whether or not flawed human logic can rationalize the offensive behavior.

I am entitled to be cared for this way and nobody has the right to say otherwise, especially when I am happy to show this same respect to the people I love. I'm not going to deprive myself of the emotional comfort and security, the SAFE HAVEN that one's close companions are suppose to be. I deal with enough triggers in the world, from people/sources that don't know or care about me a bit. But those I choose to be intimate with should be entirely different. "The world isn't fair". That doesn't mean people can't be. And "freedom of speech" can be misused. At least when you're using it with me. I want to know that my feelings matter to you enough to protect them. I am entitled to that level of safety and emotional comfort with those I share my life with.

And until I find someone who will abide by these rules, I will remain guarded around my associates, and create my own companions. I am genuinely happier with the family I've put together myself than I have ever been with anyone on the physical plane. You can't argue with happiness.

Not with me.

[13cmk]

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